Kayaks, cooking lessons, charitable donations, or contributions toward a down payment on a house are just some of the things that might now be part of a bridal registry. Couples with a shared passion such as fine wine or rare books may suggest things they'd like added to their collections.

"Wedding traditions in general have loosened up. People do things differently now and that has trickled down to registries,'' van der Meer explains. ''It's appropriate to register for almost anything.'' Sharon Naylor, author of the new The Ultimate Wedding Registry Workbook (Citadel Press) says it's not unusual for couples to have multiple registries:

1. Traditional, yet upgraded. Register for high-quality cookware or luxury linens ''so you don't have to keep using the knives you've had since college,'' she says.

2. Financial. This covers honeymoon funds, home-mortgage registries and even stocks-and-bonds registries. Such registries should be specific and administered by a bank or other reputable company, Naylor advises. And they should be accompanied by a more traditional registry. ''Otherwise, it seems like a sneaky way to ask for cash.''

3. Charitable. ''This says, 'We don't need stuff,' '' Naylor explains. Many couples steer clear of political or religious organizations because they don't want to offend any guests, she adds.

A charity is a nice option for guests on tight budgets because many charities only inform the couple that a donation was made, without revealing the amount.

No matter where a couple registers, the information should not be printed on the invitation, Naylor says. Many couples now have personalized wedding Web sites, where such news can be posted.

Some get away with registry enclosures in shower invitations or save-the-date cards, but those should be subtle, giving the Web address, perhaps, but not the actual gift wish list.

''The main etiquette point is to avoid the appearance of greed,'' Naylor says.