Victoria, if your secret is that you only care about decorative breasts, well, I'm not keeping it.
So that's it. No more. And you know what? They're not the only ones getting under my skin (and getting out of my wallet).
Elenor and I ordered these cute marble serving platters the other day from CB2 and they arrived in two massive boxes. In those boxes were several other boxes in boxes. There was a total of at least seven boxes. For two platters. So, I'm sorry Earth, because I'm pretty sure we're responsible for the death of at least 10 acres of your rainforests just to serve cheese and charcuterie with some beauty that matches its deliciousness (OK, yeah, I just heard how bougie that sounded).
My point is, I'm very aware that my dollars aren't just buying products and services, they're fueling ideas. And I'm done funding female objectification, the devaluing of mamas' bodies, irresponsible environmentalism, greed, income inequality, etc. Not gonna do it — no matter how well your product lifts and separates or how much your convenient service appeals to my laziness.
Turns out, I'm not alone. I have lots of friends who will pick one sandwich over another because, say, one company funds an anti-LGBTQ agenda (Chick-fil-A) and the other donates a sandwich for every one purchased (Even Stevens). Need new glasses? Warby Parker donates a pair of spectacles for every pair purchased, too.
But, I realize it's hard for some to see beyond piles of money and emaciated models (that's a commentary on the demands of the industry and not professional beautiful people's response to it), so I thought I'd help out by throwing together a quick list of tips to earn my magical millennial money:
1. Don't fuel and then prey on my insecurities for your profit
2. Don't fund my inequality or that of my friends and neighbors
3. Don't hoard all the money in the world; give back (genuinely)
4. Remember your employees are humans; treat and pay them fairly — even the female ones (and even when they have kids!)
5. Invest in eco-friendly processes and materials
6. Don't hunt endangered species (or at all)
7. Understand your audience and be culturally sensitive