This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Giants vs. Rams at London, 7 a.m., NFL Network • Sloooooow clap for the Giants. Congrats on your oh-so-courageous decision to part ways with serial domestic abuser Josh Brown only after being belatedly guilted into it by the sheer volume of public outrage and — more importantly to you — the associated bad press that goes with it.
Never mind that his wife publicly claimed he'd abused her 20 times before you decided to sign him to a new contract. He made the Pro Bowl last year! "We're not going to turn our back on Josh. He's our teammate," coach Ben McAdoo said Friday morning, hours before the kicker was put on the exempt list.
Also, never mind that Brown himself told the team he'd beaten his wife. They weren't totally sure how many times! "[Brown] admitted to us he'd abused his wife in the past," Giants co-owner John Mara said Thursday in a radio interview. "What's a little unclear is the extent of that."
Ahhhh, the extent. Good point. After all, you don't cut a Pro Bowler if he's only beaten his wife on a mere two verified occasions.
Maybe if these gutless, spineless, clueless cowards would spend a little less time worrying about declining TV ratings and a little more time exhibiting some basic human decency, perhaps they wouldn't have such poor TV ratings to begin with.
Man, this narrative is old.
Raiders at Jaguars, 11 a.m., Ch. 2 • Oakland's defense can't stop anyone. Jacksonville's offense can't pick up yardage against anyone. Something's got to give, right? I mean, the Raiders are allowing 6.9 yards per play and 445 yards per game. Jacksonville can do something with that, right? And Jacksonville can't run against standard front-sevens, let alone stacked boxes, and Allen Robinson hasn't topped 75 receiving yards in any game this season. Surely Oakland can handle that, right? Right?
Vikings at Eagles, 11 a.m., Ch. 13 • As an Eagles fan, I've used a lot — A LOT — of four-letter words in reference to Sam Bradford. But the guy's been getting it done this year. Do I think he's a franchise QB? No. Do I think Minnesota's stellar defense is still the primary impetus for the 5-0 start? Yes. But Bradford's completing 70.4 percent of his passes, has a 109.8 rating, and has zero turnovers. What the hell?! Ugh. This is gonna be baaaaad.
Patriots at Steelers, 2:25 p.m., Ch. 2 • Between using up all my vitriol on the Giants and Josh Brown, and getting thoroughly bummed out by Sam Bradford's success, I don't even have the energy to call Tom Brady "such a nasty woman." Not that it matters. He's facing Landry Jones. Cue the blowout.
Seahawks at Cardinals, 6:20 p.m., Ch. 5 • Arizona has rushed for 170-plus yards in consecutive games for the first time since 1988. Seattle is third in the NFL in allowing 74.6 rypg. Given that Carson Palmer is coming off a concussion two weeks ago and a hamstring injury last week, the Cards will need David Johnson — who leads the league with eight TDs — to stay hot if they're to reverse the trend of three straight home losses to the 'Hawks by a combined 105-34.
Twitter: @esotericwalden