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I like spiders. I didn't have much choice about it growing up. My mom kept tarantulas the way other people keep goldfish and parakeets.

She put the hairy spiders in terrariums and fed them. She talked to them. I got used to holding them. Never got bit or stung once, but I also rarely brought my girlfriends home.

I mention this because SpiderFest 2016 is coming to Antelope Island next Saturday. That's plenty of time for people like me to get ready. It's also plenty of time for people with arachnophobia to run away and hide.

I ventured out to Antelope Island State Park on Tuesday to check on the spider population. Assistant park manager and naturalist Wendy Wilson was my host. She wanted help catching spiders for the festival.

Park ranger Charity Owens came along to make sure spiders were properly advised of their rights. Also, she had a gun in case we ran into a really big and hungry spider.

Bugs weren't hard to find. All we had to do was go outside. Antelope Island is covered in spiders during the summer. Nearly every sagebrush, rock cleft and fence are strung with webs. The tensile strength of the silk is amazing. I wore a bunch of it home.

The most common Antelope Island spider is the Western Spotted Orb Weaver, but there are plenty of wolf spiders, cat spiders, jumping spiders and the occasional black widow — and let's not forget the Great Basin Leg Climbing Flesh Ripper.

Note: I made up that last one just to see how many of you screamed. More than I thought.

Catching spiders — particularly the orb weaver — is difficult without the right tools. They're fast. Every single one I caught with my hands immediately bailed out and ran away. I don't know if it was me or if they just don't like being held.

But Wendy had the perfect spider catcher gear. She called it an "aspirator." I call it a "spider bong" because it looks like one.

The spider bong works in principle the same way as a regular bong. Using a couple of tubes with a jar between them, the spider/bug is essentially inhaled into the jar. A filter in one tube keeps the spider from going all the way through without stopping.

It didn't work out this way because Wendy tried to kill me. Her demonstration of the bong was conducted backward. I tried it on a crab spider.

The spider shot up the tube alright, but didn't appear in the jar. I figured I missed. Wrong. The spider was just stuck on the wrong side of the filter.

Wendy: "Turn it around. I think we did it backwards."

Me: "OK." [deep breath] "YACK! Cough. Choke. Spit. #$&$!"

The crab spider came back up the tube and shot into the back of my throat, where it hung on for dear life. Everyone but me and the spider found this hilarious.

"You'll be alright," Wendy said instructively. "The crab spider is almost 100 percent protein."

Once we had the spider bong figured out, the fun never stopped. I would inhale a jumping spider into the jar and then a brine fly. The fly was immediately set upon by a spider that looked like a really tiny cage fighter.

But spiders aren't just for entertainment. They're also an important part of the ecosystem. Not only do they eat billions of really bothersome insects, they are in turn food for birds, bigger spiders and newspaper columnists.

Spiders are interesting, people. It's amazing how much there is about them that isn't to be feared. Way more interesting than the presidential race.

Go out to Antelope Island next Saturday between 10:30 a.m. and 6 p.m. There will be plenty of spider activities for the kids.

Tell Wendy and Charity I sent you. But if they offer to buy you lunch, tell them that you already ate.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.