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Low shower heads and ceiling fans are among the hazards 7-foot-3 Alan Hamson labels "first-world problems."
Being two feet shorter, Steve Clark has faced bigger issues. By his account, he had to overcome discrimination in the college football coaching profession about his height, while advancing to offensive coordinator positions at Southern Utah and Weber State and recently becoming BYU's tight ends coach.
"I've had people say, 'I'm not going to hire you, because of the way you look,' " Clark said last week, during the annual BYU Football Media Day.
Now standing 5-foot-3 ¼, officially, Clark played running back and safety at Provo High School, where he wrestled at 105 pounds as a senior. Driven to coach football, he assisted at Provo and spent several years in entry-level or off-field positions at Utah, Saint Mary's (which dropped the sport) and BYU, before Ed Lamb gave him a full-time opportunity in assembling SUU's staff in 2008.
Lamb, now a BYU assistant, was impressed by Clark's willingness to do anything to break into the profession. Clark said that approach was his only choice, based on appearances.
"I'm the last guy anyone thinks is a college coach," he said. "Let's be honest; first impressions mean something. … It's just the culture. It's a big person's culture, and [I] don't fit into it."
Clark succeeded in earning the respect of 6-5 quarterback Brad Sorensen, who went from SUU to the NFL. And now he's working with bigger players at BYU. They don't overwhelm him. "You've got to see it from my perspective," he said. "Once [they're] 5-10, everybody's huge."
That's among Clark's self-deprecating lines. His rule is that making fun of his height is acceptable, even for his players, but only if he's doing so himself. Addressing a group of SUU donors, he began by saying the event was so meaningful to him that he bought the finest suit from "Junior Mr. Mac's."
The label that has grown most tiresome to him? "Mini Me," from the Austin Powers movies, even if his baldness makes the comparison somewhat unavoidable. "I've heard 'em all," Clark said. "I'd love to see people come up with some new ones."