This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2016, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

As anyone who walks around downtown Salt Lake City this weekend can tell you, another comic convention is upon us.

For attendees at Salt Lake Comic Con's FanXperience — or FanX for short — it's three days of seeing familiar celebrities, perusing rows upon rows of vendors, and dressing up as their favorite pop-culture characters.

It's also a chance to hear from experts and fellow fans about their favorite TV shows, movies, comic books, video games and other fields of interest. These come from the many panel discussions scheduled during the weekend, when fans gather to get their geek on.

(The Cricket is appearing on three panels on Saturday: to talk about Peter Capaldi's "Doctor Who" at noon, film criticism at 5 p.m. and "Big Trouble in Little China" at 8 p.m. Come say hi.)

But for all the many subjects covered by the panels, there are some topics that didn't make the cut. Here are 10 ideas for panels for future comic cons:

Search and Replace: "Anastasia" for "Bella," "Clary" for "Harry" • A how-to panel for writers who seek inspiration in monetizing their crappy fan fiction into a publishing contract and a movie deal. Speakers: E.L. James ("Fifty Shades of Grey") and Cassandra Clare ("The Mortal Instruments").

Who Is He This Time? • Five fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe recount every Stan Lee cameo in painstaking detail. Also includes a blooper reel and a humorous anecdote from a podcaster who once ran into Lee in a men's room at San Diego Comic Con.

You Wouldn't Enjoy It on as Many Levels • Five "Star Wars" bloggers try to one-up each other with the number of minor details from "The Force Awakens" they can recount. They then complain about why neither George Lucas nor J.J. Abrams has replied to their numerous emails.

"Quark": Anatomy of a Parody • An in-depth discussion of "Quark," the short-lived 1978 sitcom about the crew of an intergalactic garbage ship. (It's a real thing, look it up.) Confusion breaks out in the audience when they realize the panel is not about the character Quark from "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine."

Pokémon for Parents • Young fans of Pokémon explain to their parents the difference between grass types, fire types and ghost types. They then do it again, patiently, because parents just don't get this stuff.

Stretching a $9.50 Burrito • Comic-convention veterans share inside tips on how to make it through a three-day weekend filled with ridiculously expensive convention-floor food vendors.

Knifefights in Artists Alley • Comic-book artists share their secrets about managing a booth at a comic convention, from handling fellow artists who "manspread" across three tables to shooing away anybody with a smartphone camera too cheap to buy a print.

Cosplay: Embracing the Double Standard • Male cosplayers who cover every inch of their bodies with plastic armor discuss why they like women cosplayers who show more cleavage than a Vegas showgirl.

You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth? • Female cosplayers read aloud the lovely compliments they receive from men when they show more cleavage than a Vegas showgirl. (Not suitable for children, due to language and descriptions of anatomically challenging actions.)

You Paid What for That? • Tips from sci-fi convention veterans on how to explain to their significant others how they spent the equivalent of a car payment for three photo ops with actors from TV shows that left the airwaves a decade ago.

Sean P. Means writes The Cricket in daily blog form at http://www.sltrib.com/blogs/moviecricket. Follow him on Twitter @moviecricket. Email at spmeans@sltrib.com.