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Here are just a few of the things I've learned after watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel last week.

1. Apparently, there are a number of unnamed minor European countries in this world where the citizens (as well as members of the royal family) speak English with American accents.

2. Kids are super useful when it comes to breaking the ice with a member of the opposite sex. They're kind of like dogs that way.

3. There is life after cancellation for cast members of "90210."

I'm still taking notes in case there's a Hallmark Channel pop quiz at the end of December. Meanwhile, I'll keep you updated on all the new stuff I'm learning about life and also the world we live in.

Here's the thing. Watching the Hallmark Channel (which runs "original" Christmas movies 24/7 during the holiday season) is a totally new experience for me. Typically, I keep the television and/or radio dial set on stations that do news stories 24/7, because I AM SUCH A SERIOUS PERSON. It's true. People are always telling me to lighten up and to stop thinking so many deep thoughts. "Dude!" people always say to me. "Stop thinking so many deep thoughts!"

But whatever.

The point is I usually listen to the news. The news as of late, however, has been so relentlessly grim that I can't even laugh at America's favorite stand-up comedian, Donald Trump, anymore. So I took a friend's advice and switched channels.

OK. I will say the experiencing of watching a Hallmark Christmas movie is slightly disorienting at first. I kept asking myself, "Haven't I seen this actor in something else before?" or "Haven't I seen this movie before?"

But then I realized that the typical Hallmark Christmas movie is designed to make you feel that way. The actors seem familiar because they almost look like somebody else who's already famous. Typical characters include a fiancé who almost looks like Christian Bale who (as it turns out) almost looks like the late Christopher Reeve. Or a princess who almost looks like the real princess Kate Middleton. Or a best friend who almost looks like Allison Janney who played C.J. Cregg on "The West Wing." Or a Santa Claus who almost looks like Ed Asner dressed up in a Santa suit. Or a nanny who almost looks like that ghost that flies out of toilets (or whatever) in one of those Harry Potter movies.

A lot of the musical scores work the same way. You hear something that almost sounds like "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" from "The Nutcracker" ballet, for example, until you realize that the melody you thought was familiar has meandered off into something that isn't quite "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" after all. It's like the melody got all dressed up to go to the concert hall but decided at the last minute to change its clothes and go to a bar instead.

The same is true of the movies' storylines. You say to yourself, "Haven't I seen this before?" And if you've watched the Hallmark Channel for years, the answer is yes. There are a lot of reruns. But if you're a Hallmark Christmas movie-watching virgin like I am, then you only feel like you've seen the movie before, because once upon a time you did actually see "Sleepless in Seattle" or "Roman Holiday" featuring Audrey Hepburn riding a scooter with Gregory Peck.

Once I figured out what was happening, I settled down and enjoyed the movies for what they are, although I was briefly disoriented (again) when I saw an exterior shot of a building that almost looked like the Masonic Temple on South Temple, as well as an interior shot of a building that almost looked like Mrs. Backer's Bakery, also on South Temple.

And then I realized I was looking at the real things. People! The Hallmark Channel has discovered Salt Lake City!

Just like I've finally discovered the Hallmark Channel. …

Ann Cannon can be reached at acannon@sltrib.com or facebook.com/anncannontrib.