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Last week's pig-wrestling event at the Utah County Fair in Spanish Fork featured a surprise floor show wherein humans wrestled other humans in the mud.

While pigs were being wrestled, a few animal-rights activists entered the mud pit and attempted to stop it. One thing led to another, and things got heated.

One protester was pushed and another thrown over a fence, behavior that shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. What sort of response would you expect from people who like wrestling pigs?

Decide for yourself. Here's a link to the video on YouTube: bit.ly/pigwrestle

Anyway, now the cops are involved. Assault charges may be filed against some of the pig wrestlers. Whether charges might be filed against the protesters for interrupting the event remains to be seen.

The cruel treatment of animals is a major issue in America. Should we eat them, hunt them and force them to take baths, or should we give them the vote and free admission to all national parks? I come down squarely on all sides.

I do not believe that animals such as chickens, pigs and cows should ever be mistreated beyond what is necessary to turn them into food.

(Note: This will no doubt anger some of you into sending me abusive and threatening correspondence. It's OK. These comments are filed in my GFY [Good for You] drawer for possible consideration much later.)

I hate it when people deliberately mistreat animals for some sick and twisted reason. But that doesn't mean they should automatically be banned from participating in events such as mud wrestling.

Let me finish. Sporting events featuring animals are only fair if the law and common sense dictate an even match.

For example, if someone is going to mud wrestle a pig, then it should be one pig vs. one human. One pig vs. a four-man team is not only unfair, it's just mean.

I can hear your concerns now. "What? It's impossible for one man to catch a muddy pig and put it into a corral."

Well, then, the pig wins, doesn't he?

But if the rules stay the same — meaning that four men get to jump on one pig — then I say we change the pig.

Instead of some hapless farm shoat, I say we go with a fully grown feral pig, a large boar with hair and tusks and a complete disregard for human life. Now that would be entertaining.

This fair matching could be applied to all sporting events involving animals. Rodeos, donkey basketball, mutton busting, etc. Hell, bullfighting is perfect for it.

No more ganging up on the bull. It's just one guy strutting around in a Liberace suit and carrying a sword against a fully grown bull with a set of horns so sharp that it hurts just to look at them.

We might be able to slow the trophy hunters if we take away the guns and instead force them to get their trophies with a spear. Now that's something a hunter could legitimately brag about.

It's also more fair. Either you get to take his head home for the wall in your den, or he gets to drag your ass into a tree and eat it.

I may be on to something here. Animals will never have rights equal to those of humans, but things might go a little better if we evened the odds just a bit.

Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com or facebook.com/stillnotpatbagley.