Dear Harriette » My roommate has been dating the same guy for about three years. She is preparing to get engaged -- an activity I find ludicrous. In my world, unless he's in front of you with the ring, nothing's happening yet. She's talking about it incessantly and become frustrated with me because I don't want to talk about her "maybe" wedding. What do you think?

Elisa, Evanston, Ill.

Dear Elisa » It's understandable that you feel overwhelmed by your roommate's constant conversation about engagement. That might be so even if she were actually engaged. You call your friend's preparation ludicrous. Is her guy not a part of the discussion? Urge her to talk directly to him about whether the timing is right to take that step.

Suggest also that she start to journal about it. She can write out what she thinks marriage should look like in her life with this man. What does she envision her timeline to be for moving forward? Encourage her to figure it out on paper and then discuss it with the man she hopes will become her husband.

Be clear about boundaries. When you are finished listening, ask her to either change the subject or end the discussion.

Dear Harriette » I have a favorite hairdresser (doesn't everyone?). She takes excellent care of my hair and teaches me how to maintain my look when I cannot make it to the salon. My problem is that whenever I go in for an appointment, she doesn't start on my services for an hour or an hour and a half. I've tried to come early -- doesn't work. I've tried to come later -- that doesn't work, either. How can I make it plain to her that I'm fed up with her tardiness?

Shari, Seattle

Dear Shari » I'm guessing Seattle has more than one great hairdresser, including some who honor their clients' time. Go on a search. Ask for references from women you respect who have hair like yours. Do some research near your home or job. Go for a consultation at a salon that you like. Take a chance and try out a new salon that may offer great -- and timely -- service.