But we have lifted certain priesthood restrictions, stopped practicing polygamy except on paper, and substantially reduced the number of people disfellowshipped for dress-code violations. I can't remember the last time we blood-atoned anyone.

There's one thing we haven't changed, though. The electric guitar is still regarded as the scepter of Satan. You'll never hear one played (legitimately) in an LDS sacrament meeting.

Rock 'n' roll has made zero progress into the LDS form of worship. Other Christian faiths have tuned up the good news with guitars, drums and even harmonicas. In some churches you don't need to feel the Holy Spirit in your heart. An amplifier will do it for you.

There's even heavy metal Christian music, which seems a bit ironic. I'm not sure I'm ready for Rob Zombie screaming about the Resurrection. His idea of being undead and mine probably aren't even close.

That doesn't mean Mormons couldn't loosen up a bit. Instruments currently banned in our worship meetings include the guitar (even unplugged), drums, saxophone, banjo, tuba, tambourine, didgeridoo, cymbals and bagpipes.

I've heard - but cannot confirm - that it's an excommunicable offense to even bring a wah-wah pedal into an LDS church parking lot. I'd call to find out, but church headquarters stopped returning my calls in 1994.

Just about any instrument you can imagine is banned except for the piano, organ and a few extremely tame string instruments. I've heard violins played in sacrament meeting, but never a fiddle.

I did hear a musical number played on a flute once. It was nice but nothing like Jethro Tull. Even with approved instruments, the noise you can make is still tightly controlled.

The control makes a certain amount of sense. Things tend to get weird rather quickly with the artistically inclined, including musicians. Other than it being novel enough to keep me awake, I don't see much value in "Come, Come Ye Saints" played on a set of bongos.

But a guitar? I mean, come on. Is there a more beautiful sounding instrument in the entire world? If George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" isn't a hymn, I don't know what is.

I should point out that I feel the same way about Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell," so I'm no real judge. Were it up to me, Neil Young would play next General Conference. I'm guessing that's why it isn't.

Music is subjective. What moves one person won't do anything for the next. The Holy Spirit probably works the same way. You have to go where it takes you, and that's tough to correlate.

rkirby@sltrib.com