Last week, I compiled my annual list of new and traditional holiday movies and specials for the next month (it's being published in this Friday's paper). Unfortunately, it's the usual stuff we get spoon-fed every year with Rob Lowe or (insert other TV actor's name here) finding out that, yes, it really doesn't hurt to be a nice guy, especially during the season of giving.

Let's see, this year we have the CBS Hallmark Hall of Fame movie "Pictures of Hollis Woods," which tells us that "miracles still happen," according to the press kit.

We also get "Lost Holiday" from Lifetime, starring Jami Gertz ("Still Standing") and Dylan Walsh ("Nip/Tuck") who find out that "survival is just a miracle away."

You know what a miracle is? When viewers get a holiday movie that doesn't involve a "miracle."

How about a movie about a downtrodden family who saves up all year to get that one fire engine for little Timmy, only to have the boy get sick from lead poisoning because it was made in China. Then the parents go on a bloody rampage against the greedy toy companies for outsourcing their manufacturing. Yeah!

Or what if they made a movie about a striking Hollywood writer who had to skip out on Hanukkah gifts this year because she was out of work and walking the picket lines. Then she decides to go on a bloody rampage against the media companies who refused to compensate her for putting "America's Most Smartest Model" on the Internet. Yeah!

At least that would be different. At least they wouldn't involve a "miracle" that forever changed the stuffy, type-A personality in a business suit who likes to repeat, "at the end of the day it's about maximizing shareholder profits."

So why am I being such a Scrooge during the season of love, gifts and Terry's Chocolate Oranges? After all, aren't we supposed to feel warm and fuzzy while watching a holiday movie or special?

I want something that will challenge my intellect or ignite my senses. I want seven misfit elves who band together to defend the North Pole from marauding rival Munchkins. I want a movie about a crazed Santa who starts a killing spree based on the "Twelve Days of Christmas."

Just please, don't give us another movie starring a washed-up TV actor who learns the true meaning of the holidays because he or she got trapped in the "ABC Clichéd Movie of the Week."

That's what I want for Christmas, Santa.

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* VINCE HORIUCHI'S column appears Mondays and Fridays. He can be reached at vince@sltrib.com or 801-257-8607. For more television insights, visit Horiuchi's blog, "The Village Vidiot," at blogs.sltrib.com/tv/ and catch his PopCast podcast every Tuesday at sltrib.com/entertainment. E-mail your comments about this column to livingeditor@sltrib.com.