Dear Harriette: What would your reaction be if you received an e-mail from a 32-year-old woman you've never heard of, claiming to be a child of your brother? My brother admitted to me he is not 100 percent sure the girl is his. I believe the girl's mother was probably already pregnant before having sex one time with my brother and used him as a scapegoat because he's the perfect patsy. He admits to having sex with the mom once, which supposedly resulted in pregnancy. I do realize a woman can get pregnant having sex only one time, but what are the odds of that happening? I told the girl to prove it with a DNA test, which she absolutely refuses to get! My brother will not admit his own doubts to the girl. Everyone is down on me because I refuse to accept her without DNA proof. They call me hateful and unreasonable. Some have actually disowned me, and others threaten to if I do not accept her. I feel with all the Internet scams these days, a person cannot be too careful! All of us, including the girl, deserve to know for sure if she is related to us or not, and a simple DNA test would answer that once and for all. Would you accept her on blind faith, or would you insist on DNA proof?

- Laurita, St. Paul, Minn.

Dear Laurita: I can understand how hard it must be for you to accept this woman into your family, and you have perfectly good reason to doubt her parentage. You do not have the right, however, to try to force her or your brother to do anything. If he chooses to believe she is his daughter, do your best to accept her as someone he chooses to love. Let time reveal her behavior and whether she's trustworthy or not. Your continuing cries are probably only making your brother stand by her with greater conviction. Calm down and observe.

Dear Harriette: I just learned my younger sister by seven years had a baby by my former boyfriend. I'm beyond angry. I'm also hurt and feel betrayed by her and my former boyfriend whom, at one time, I was going to marry, and I, too, was pregnant by him once. Our father feels we're just having ''a catfight,'' his words. This isn't jealousy but a betrayal by my sister whom I adored and would've done anything for. And my ex, he hurt me. Although we've long been apart, he was in another serious relationship and for him to hurt this woman as well shows what kind of man he is. How do I get over this and let my father know this isn't kid stuff?

- Kim, Washington, D.C.

Dear Kim: You can't make your father do anything. You can state the facts plainly to him so he understands the severity of the situation. Ultimately, you must forgive your sister. She needs your love now more than ever.

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* HARRIETTE COLE's column runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. E-mail her at askharriette@harriettecole.com.