When the questions come, as they always do at family get-togethers over the holidays, she's ready with several pat responses.

Still single? Seeing any one? Hunsaker may laugh and then say something like, "I'm just lucky" or "I'm working on it" or even, "No, that's one less person to buy for."

But, no joke, she wishes her relatives would just leave the subject alone.

"When I'm ready to find somebody, I'll find somebody," said Hunsaker, 25, of Bountiful. "Just let it go."

From office parties to family get-togethers, the holidays stretching from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve form a gauntlet that some singles come to dread because of the way they can punctuate their status: Alone! Again! Still!

"It is just like every other day, only more so," Hunsaker said. "It feels more obvious."

It's Just Lunch, a dating service, surveyed more than 2,600 singles and found that 44 percent expect to be asked about their love life at least five times during the holidays. Which is why relationship experts such as Catherine Cardinal and Barbie Adler suggest singles prepare a strategy for the scenarios - from questions to party invitations and work celebrations - that set them up for a case of Jingle Bell Blues. And one of the best is so simple: Get out there.

"For singles, the holidays can either be a great gift or a real test of will and self-confidence," said Adler, president of Selective Search Inc., a nationwide personal matchmaking service based in Chicago, in a press release. "Having put so many couples together, I know that during the holidays, the act of being unattached is a petri dish of emotion - frustration, stress, loneliness - and the social pressure of the holidays can make you feel like you're a relationship outcast. That's a tough emotional hurdle to overcome."

Catherine Cardinal, a California psychologist and author of A Cure for The Common Life: The Cardinal Rules of Self-Esteem, said it is natural to feel hurt and defensive when hit with a barrage of questions from relatives about your love life. Neither reaction is a good idea, she said.

"It's about their agenda, not yours," Cardinal said. "If it was about you, they would say, 'How are you, how are you feeling? What is going on in your life that is good?' "

The comparable question for married couples is, "When was the last time you had sex with your spouse?" said Bella DePaulo, a visiting professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of a forthcoming book on singlehood.

Cardinal's suggestion: stand firm, look 'em in the eye and fire back a question such as, "Don't you think I would have let you know if I had?" And: "I know you are saying that because you care about me, but do you hear what is in your voice - judgment?"

Adler offers these comebacks: "I'm happy, I just want to meet the right person," or "I don't want to add to the divorce rate" and "You're happily married and that is what I am holding out to find."

Older relatives, good intentions aside, may not understand the challenges of today's dating scene or the trends in delaying marriage and opting to remain single.

"You're taking the power back and basically saying, 'You are acting like an idiot. Of course you would have known,' " Cardinal said. "I have had people say this completely changed the dynamic with their family. It is a very effective way of dealing with family and people you know who are going to make you feel bad."

It helps, too, to intersperse time with inquisitive relatives and uncomfortable situations with "people more on your side," she said.

Salt Lake City resident Melinda Connell, 34, found she was the odd one out in family activities once her siblings married and her parents' focus shifted to the grandkids - something other singles say they've experienced, too, as friends paired up and married.

Connell's solution: She spends holidays at her parents' home, located in a remote New Mexico town, when her siblings are at their in-laws.

"If I go there, I want to spend as much quality time as possible, and if all the grandkids are there it doesn't seem worth it," she said. Otherwise, Connell stays home and finds friends to share celebrations.

Adler and Cardinal suggest that singles take advantage of what the holidays have to offer: lots of opportunities to meet new people at a time when most are feeling more open and a little warmer at heart.

"There are a lot of activities, more so than usual," Cardinal said. "What I recommend to my clients to do is get out to functions, see if you can't get friends to invite you to Christmas parties or their parties where there are people you don't know."

At the top of Cardinal's activities: charity events - which is how she met her fiancé.

"Someone who would come to a charity event generally has heart, cares about other people and has some success in their life," she said.

After all, said Adler, "If it is not you meeting the guy over the crab cakes, it is going to be somebody else."

Trudy Henderson of Syracuse also recommends the get-involved solution. When she divorced, her children alternated holidays with their father.

"Many well-meaning friends and relatives would invite me to join celebrations with their families but this always made me more sad to be alone while watching them interact with their children and spouses," she said in an e-mail. "I quickly learned that I had to make my own holiday traditions."

Henderson, an elementary school teacher, began volunteering at centers that serve holiday meals and helping others in less-fortunate circumstances. "It makes me so grateful for my job, college education and family," she said. "My advice for being single anytime is be busy."

As for New Year's Eve, Cardinal has two views. Option one: Find someplace to go, either alone or with a friend, get dressed up and have a blast. Option two: Stay home and create an introspective retreat for yourself - candles, the right music, the special foods -aimed at starting off the New Year right.

But parties can be part of the problem, some singles say.

Casey Lenhart, who is divorced, gets plenty of party invitations during the holidays, but most suggest he bring a date - which makes him feel pressured to find someone to bring.

"They always assume you have a significant other and you come to the party and there is an empty chair for your partner," said Lenhart, 37, of West Jordan. "Sometimes I just go, or say, 'Thanks, but I'm busy.' "

Hunsaker succumbed to that pressure this year at her company party, which she helped plan. She brought a guy she has been out with only once before. It was a disaster and she learned a lesson: "Bring someone you know a little bit better," Hunsaker suggests. Better yet, said DePaulo, consider going solo. DePaulo is single by choice and proud of it, and is on a campaign to help other singles embrace their status, to change the notion that socializing has to be done in pairs - the "cult of coupling," as she calls it.

"I absolutely love being single. I don't need to have a partner with me to walk into a holiday party or any other event," she said. "I start from a whole different part of view. I don't have to justify being single or not having a date. To some extent, I wonder why other people do."

Mingle & jingle

What to do during the holidays

Be prepared: Figure out which functions you will attend single and those that you would like to attend with a date. Take advantage of parties where you can meet new people; bringing a "filler" date will make people think you are off the market.

Equip yourself: Come with lighthearted responses to any family inquiries. Turn it back on the questioner by asking why they haven't fixed you up with anyone yet.

Focus outward: Dive into volunteer or charity opportunities.

Take risks: See and be seen. Put yourself out there. Go to the parties you are invited to, even if you fear you will be the only single. Or, throw your own party, an especially good idea for New Year's Eve.

- Source: Barbie Adler, Selective Search Inc.