Ann Cannon: Taking an ‘accommodating’ view about human nature

First Published      Last Updated May 03 2017 01:30 pm

Today I wish to discuss something I've noticed about human beings, aka "us." But first I want to tell you about a recent road trip my mother and I took to attend her grandson's and my nephew's wedding. (Hey, congratulations, Nick and Courtney!)

Anyway. It was just the two of us this time — sort of like Thelma and Louise, if Thelma and Louise had been members of AARP. Meanwhile, here's an example of the conversations Mom and I had along the way.

Me: Should we stop in Fillmore and get some Corn Nuts?

Her: Whatever you want to do.

Me: No. It's whatever you want to do.

Her: No. It's whatever YOU want to do.

Here's another example.

Her: Where would you like to go to dinner?

Me: I'm good with whatever. Where would you like to go to dinner?

Her: I'm good with whatever. You choose.

Me: No, seriously. YOU choose.

Or there's this one.

Me: Do you want to watch a movie or play cards tonight?

Her: Either one.

Me: Same here. Either one.

Her: Both are good choices. You choose.

Me: I agree. Both are good choices. YOU choose.

My mom and I had conversations like these on our recent road trip because both of us are accommodators— that is, we often feel more motivated to accommodate other people's choices than we do to accommodate our own. And if you recognize yourself in any of these conversations, you may also be an accommodator, as well, which means by the time you and your mother decided to buy some Corn Nuts in Fillmore, you were already in Cedar City. Welcome to our club!

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