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Dear Ann Cannon • I work in a gift store, and the other day I saw a regular customer stealing an expensive pen from the stationery section. Trouble is, she's a friend of our boss. I didn't say anything, but now that I know to watch her, I'm sure I'll see her doing it again. What should I do? Talk to her? Tell my boss? Not say anything?

— Troubled at Work

Dear Troubled • Here's another option: Ask the customer (politely, of course) to wait a minute while you lock up all the pens whenever she walks into the store. That could be awkward, though.

Many years ago I had a friend who discovered her boss's husband was having an affair. After giving the matter some serious thought, my friend decided to let her boss know what was going on. She felt it was the right thing to do and that her boss would appreciate her candor. The news made the boss furious, of course — with my friend!

I'm not saying that stealing a husband is the same thing as stealing a pen. And I'm not saying you shouldn't tell your boss if you feel like you must. But don't expect her to thank you for sharing.

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Dear Ann Cannon • How do I convince my 10-year old daughter that she doesn't need a phone yet?

— Twenty-first-Century Parent

Dear Twenty-First-Century Parent • You can't. But you can keep telling her "no."

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Dear Ann Cannon • I just finished graduate school and have good job offers both on the East Coast and in Salt Lake City. The East Coast job offers more in the way of future opportunities, while the job here would allow me to help care for my parents as they age. My parents will be supportive of whatever decision I make, but I know in their heart of hearts they'd prefer me to stay in the valley.

—Glad I Just Graduated

Dear Glad • As the mother of adult children, I commend your devotion to your parents. DEVOTION TO PARENTS = AWESOME! As the mother of adult children, I also think it's important for them to stretch their wings and fly away — even if it's only for a little while. Leaving Utah, frankly, helped my husband, our boys and me to appreciate the good things about the state when we returned for good.

And while we're on the subject of parents, I want to put this idea out there for consideration: Sometimes we make inaccurate assumptions about what parents want and don't want. For example, when I was a young mother, I thought I was doing my own mother a huge favor by letting her babysit my kids. I know better now.

But that's not the point. The real point is that you'll have meaningful (even wonderful) experiences, no matter which path you choose to follow. And only you can decide which path that will be. Good luck!

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Dear Ann Cannon • I have an acquaintance who misheard my name the first time we were introduced. I didn't set the record straight then, because I didn't want to embarrass anyone — but now whenever this woman and I run into each other (which isn't often), she calls me the wrong name. Should I correct her in this late stage of the game?

— Mistaken Identity

Dear Mistaken • Boy, did YOU ever pick the wrong person to ask this question. I had the same experience with one of my piano teachers. She thought my name was Diane.

And she still does.

I'm sorry, but you'll probably have to ask someone else about the best way to handle this situation.

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