This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2017, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

Dear Elementary School Kids,

Don't look now, but Valentine's Day is right around the corner!

Oh. Wait. You've looked already? And you're busy trying to figure out if that special girl or boy in your class has noticed you? It's kinda hard to tell, right? Because (no offense, kids) you're not very good at communicating "romantic interest" to one another.

That's why I asked friends to share the things they did to attract attention when they were your age. Hopefully their experiences will help you understand what's really going on when that boy sitting across the cafeteria table from you suddenly picks up his lunch fork and starts combing his hair with it.

That's what my son did in the second grade btw. He wanted to impress the cute girl sitting across the table from him, so he — you know — groomed. (P.S. It didn't work.)

Anyway. If you notice classmates engaging in any of the following behaviors around you — no matter how weird — they're probably trying to get your attention.

Talking in a scary voice • My friend Kerry related that when the boy she liked gave their teacher some flowers, she stopped him in his tracks and said in a scary voice: "I know you brought one of those for me, right?"

Looking away whenever you show up • Shy kids don't know what to do with their feelings. So they turn their faces whenever you walk into their line of vision. But rest assured they're giving you some serious side eye.

Making "rating calls" • Kids are bolder when they're in a group, which is why they call you when they get together and ask you to rate them on a scale of 1-10. Or at least kids did this when everybody had landlines. They probably aren't calling your parents' cellphones and asking them to rate you.

Sending love notes • Some kids are better at writing down their feelings than speaking them. My friend Venna remembers the note she received from a boy in her class: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a nose like a B-52."

Giving chase • OK, kids. If someone is chasing you around the playground like a maniac at recess, you can be pretty sure he or she is interested.

Kissing you behind the dumpster at recess • See above.

Using nicknames • Actually, this one's tricky. Sometimes kids WANT you to feel bad when they call you a name. One of the older boys in our neighborhood, for example, used to call me "Machinegun Annie" because he said I sounded like a machine gun whenever I laughed. RUDE! My friend Marti remembers classmates calling her "Farty Marti" and her first-grade boyfriend "Smelly Kelly" just to be mean. Fortunately, Farty Marti and Smelly Kelly had each other, so everything worked out in the end.

Putting extra candy in your valentine envelope • Extra candy is a sure sign that someone is crushing on you. Also, if you're a boy, pay attention to the sentiments on the conversation hearts you get from a girl. Chances are good that she spent hours choosing them just for you. If you're a girl, however, don't bother to decode. Like my friend Cynthia says, the boy's mom probably stuffed the envelopes for him the night before the class party.

I hope this helps, kids. Just remember that romance is easier when you're an adult.

Not.

Sincerely,

Ann Cannon

Ann Cannon can be reached at acannon@sltrib.com or facebook.com/anncannontrib.