Updating a couple of old column items
Recently I republished columns on which readers hoped for updates. Two of the original letter-writers responded. The first is the woman who was being asked to help care for her teenage son's baby, even though she had urged the baby's mother to place the child for adoption.
Dear Carolyn • I wanted to give you an update to "Teen son's baby needs your love." The child is now 21/2 and we all have a strong bond and successful relationship. Here are some of the highlights from the past two years. The baby's mother was not happy with the living arrangement she had at her mother's home so for five months she and the baby lived with us. This was a perfect way for us to really bond with the baby. After five months, the mother chose to move out of our house. From that point on, we had contact or visitation 50 percent of the time. Your big question is, how did my son evolve? He is amazing. He was tentative the first year. He did what he was required and not much more. Then a miracle transpired. The baby turned 1. He started walking, talking and specifically saying, "DaDa." That was all it took. My son is a better father to his son than many men twice his age. It is a blessing to watch.
A Loving Grandma
The second update is from the letter-writer whose fiance had thrown a lamp at her, and who wondered whether to forgive him because she still loved him.
Dear Carolyn • Thank you for republishing my letter to you about my (ex) fiance who threw the lamp at me. To answer your question, since you were wondering ... no, my words never reached him. He insists that he was not aiming for my head. He never apologized. And as a matter of fact, he got very angry with me for even mentioning that he threw a lamp at me! He never got it. Never. He never took responsibility for what he did, and how he could have hurt me physically, not to mention mentally! He only said that he was sorry that "it" happened, and that he doesn't want to dwell on the past. This was four years ago, and it has taken me a long time to get over that broken relationship. I never went back with him. But I still want to sometimes.
Carolyn Hax's column runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.