It was Oscar Wilde who said: “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” That may be true, but the year we all stop trying and lying to ourselves is the year we start dying. With that in mind, as well as a general boost from the fact that making New Year’s resolutions for others is a whole lot easier than making them for our own sorry selves, here’s a list of promises for personal and professional improvement people in the sports world should make that only a blessed few of them have the wherewithal or intention of actually keeping …
For Bronco Mendenhall • placing football a little higher than fifth.
For Kyle Whittingham • beating good Pac-12 teams.
For Chris Hill • enjoying the TV money and weathering the eroding fan base all those Pac-12 losses bring him.
For Tyrone Corbin • finding a way to productively play Al Jefferson, Paul Millsap, Derrick Favors and Enes Kanter.
For Kevin O’Connor • finding a way to trade a big with an expiring contract.
For the Jazz • committing to win more than a third of their road games.
For the Clippers • losing one game before the playoffs start.
For Gordon Hayward • becoming a consistent scorer.
For Dwight Howard • restoring a decent reputation.
For Tiger Woods • rewiring his mind and soul enough to win another major.
For Rory McIlroy • winning two majors.
For Deron Williams • killing another coach.
For Chris Paul • getting an MVP.
For Mike Trout • getting an MVP.
For Adrian Peterson • getting an MVP.
For Peyton Manning • winning comeback player of the year.
For Chuck Pagano • keeping good health.
For Andrew Luck • winning rookie of the year.
For Damian Lillard • winning rookie of the year.
For Bronco Mendenhall II • falling in love with a good quarterback.
For Kyle Whittingham II • beating bad Pac-12 teams.
For the NHL • getting a clue.
For MLB • having a World Series that people will actually watch.
For Dale Murphy • tallying enough votes to get inducted into the Hall.
For Kyle Van Noy • having a great(er) senior season.
For Cody Hoffman • shaving two-tenths of a second off the 40 time.
For Star Lotulelei • hiring a good investment banker.
For Ziggy Ansah • hiring a good writer to pen his biography.
For Gary Andersen • living down that money and his ambition always superseded caring about the kids.
For Matt Wells • convincing the kids that he cares more about them — no, no, really — than money and his ambition.
For Chuckie Keeton • being named an All-American.
For Utah State football • beating USC (some team from Utah has to do it).
For BYU football • remembering what phase of the game put its program on the map.
For Utah football • recruiting enough athletes to win half its conference games.
For Utah football fans • scraping all those Pac-12 stickers off their car windows.
For Utah State football II • getting into a big bowl game.
For Utah State football fans • filling their own stadium every week.
For Dave Rose • getting a win in the NIT.
For Brandon Davies • staying out of early foul trouble.
For Tyler Haws • running off a thousand screens.
For Larry Krystkowiak • drawing half a house for a home game.
For Stew Morrill • defeating a quality opponent.
For Lone Peak High • becoming the fourth-best team in the state, behind the Jazz, BYU and USU.
For Utah basketball • earning back respect.
For Brian Johnson • learning quickly.
For Brandon Doman • changing jobs.
For Ty Detmer • taking the wheel of BYU’s offense.
For Andy Reid • gathering himself for a year before finding a new job.
For American tennis • developing a star on the men’s side.
For Jeff Hornacek • getting hired as a head coach.
For Taysom Hill • dropping back behind a sound offensive line.
For Travis Wilson • dropping back behind a sound offensive line.
For Alex Smith • being appreciated.
For Lance Reynolds • floating on a raft in the Caribbean somewhere.
For Derrick Favors • averaging 35 minutes a game.
For Enes Kanter • averaging 25 minutes a game.
For Alec Burks • averaging 15 minutes a game.
For Jimmer Fredette • getting traded.
For the Jazz II • using their financial flexibility to gain a top-drawer, pass-first point guard who can set the pace of games offensively and play a little D.
For Jazz fans • driving on fumes of potential and patience for yet another season.
Gordon Monson hosts “The Big Show” weekdays from 3-7 p.m. on 1280 AM and 97.5 FM The Zone. Twitter: @GordonMonson.