In Friday’s Tribune, in accordance with tradition on the last Friday of the year, The Cricket will reveal the Top 10 movies of 2012.
But what about the worst movies of the year?
Yes, there is such a list, a cathartic way to purge The Cricket’s brain and soul of cinematic awfulness.
Here it is:
1. “That’s My Boy” • Adam Sandler hits rock bottom, and then keeps digging, in a crass and joyless father-son comedy.
2. “The Three Stooges” • The Farrelly Brothers’ love of the classic slapstick comedy doesn’t translate in this shrill remake. (Sorry to Utah native Kirby Heyborne, who finally got a starring role.)
3. “The Apparition” • A horror movie so ineptly constructed, it was still trying to establish atmosphere during the closing credits.
4. “The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure” • A weirdly manic attempt to recreate some “Teletubbies” magic, but with zero charm or coherence.
5. “Fun Size” • Nickelodeon tries to make a PG-13 teen comedy, and fails to be comedic or teen-friendly.
6. “Last Ounce of Courage” • A heavy-handed, and dumbly written, right-wing diatribe against the so-called “War on Christmas.” (Did anyone notice a lack of Christmas this week? Didn’t think so.)
7. “Butter” • An even more dumbly written left-wing satire, set among the rubes of an Iowa butter-carving contest — with Jennifer Garner wasted as a Sarah Palin-esque figure.
8. “Alex Cross” • Tyler Perry proves to be a bust as an action hero, in this sickening police procedural.
9. “For Greater Glory” • An overwrought epic tale of Catholic counter-revolutionaries in Mexico, which turns out more silly than inspiring.
10. “Parental Guidance” • Billy Crystal just needs to shut up for a minute. Please.