Utahns have always made a place for Jell-O on the Thanksgiving table, right next to the turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes.
But this year molded gelatin practically took over the city — or a least our entry box — as some 800 poems were submitted in The Salt Lake Tribune’s annual Jell-O haiku contest.
Most of these funny, three-lined poems came from Utah residents, but we did get a batch from a 9th grade honors English class at Florida Atlantic University High School, in Boca Raton. Students had been studying Chinese poetry when teacher Debbi Rosenblum happened to find our contest online and made it an assignment.
“I thought it would be a lot more fun than writing a traditional haiku,” she wrote in an email.
And that’s the point of this 6-year-old contest — don’t take Jell-O too seriously.
Of course, the only way to properly handle so many gelatinous gems was to bring in the experts from the Utah State Poetry Society, who judged the poems for proper style and creativity.
Here are their first, second and third place winners in the adult and student categories, as well as some honorable mentions to enjoy along with your pumpkin pie.
ADULT WINNERS
1st
Coo chi coo Haiku,
Jell-O — please me — make me drool,
All I want is you.
— Joy Hall
2nd
You slide down my throat,
Jiggly friend to my tummy.
My joy is complete.
— Charles Bell
3rd
Sweet melting powder
rich fruity fume I breathe deep
cold raw roots encased
— Kymberly Siebenhaar
—
SECONDARY WINNERS
(7th - 12th grade)
1st
Pet horse recycled
That’s how I pay for college
Please don’t tell mommy
— Hannah Bishop
2nd
The vegans will cry.
Tonight Seabiscut will die.
Now he is Jell-O
— Arthur Etmekdjian
3rd
Masticating is
an optional endeavor
before swallowing
— Alex Merrill
—
ELEMENTARY WINNERS
(kindergarten-6th grade
1st
House made of Jell-O
When I’m grounded and hungry
I just eat a wall
— Griff Riggs
2nd
Red and blue Jell-O
Democrat, Republican
Stands for our nation
— Carly Herr
3rd
Explosion of taste
Vast oasis of Jell-O
Earthquake in a bowl
— Kira Sincock
—
Adult Honorable Mentions:
The jell swells greenly
Flowing over plastic rim
Sweet nectar of hooves
— Nori Huntsman
Static, shuddering
clear collagen cube, with grapes,
Yes... there’s always room.
— Todd Seymour
Limes frozen in time,
cherries suspended in sludge —
fruit apocalypse
— Krista Clement
Secondary Honorable Mentions
These old bones gone by
Sea Biscuit is dead for this?!
Why oh why Jell-O
— Caleb Lopes
Your deliciousness
The cause of your own demise
Be careful jello
— Silken Lee
Elementary Honorable Mentions
Corrupting but fine
Jell-O is like politics
Yet never perfect
— Louisa Keating
Jell-O explosion
Jell-O up and down the walls
making mommy mad.
— Sarah Morgan
Jell-O hurricane
Splattering on my window
Jell-O day, no school!
— Samantha Macuga
Swaying back and forth
Jell-O is a bobble-head
It makes me crazy
— Max Mobley
Thanksgiving dinner
When we all come together
Please don’t have Jell-O
— Gavin Kraft
In the microwave
the Jell-O begins to melt
colors slowly blend
— Victoria Flinders