This weekend on TV: Billy Crystals returns to host the Oscars
Published: February 24, 2012 10:16AM
Updated: February 24, 2012 10:18AM
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Billy Crystal serves as host for the 84th Academy Awards, which will be presented on Sunday, February 26, 2012, at the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center, and televised live by the ABC Television Network. (ABC/BOB D'AMICO)

Billy Crystal is promising something "spectacular" for his hosting gig at The 84th Annual Academy Awards (Sunday, 6:30 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4). The show's producers are promising lots and lots of humor.

Yeah, well, we'll see. I'm hopeful we'll see something good for the opening, but you're never going to see a 3½-hour (or more) Oscar show that's entertaining from beginning to end.

If you're looking for something so vapid it will kill your brain cells, tune in to Oscars Red Carpet Live (5 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4).

And if you really want to render yourself catatonic, E! has seven hours of pre-Oscars fluff - Countdown to the Red Carpet (11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m.) and Live from the Red Carpet (3:30-6:30 p.m.) - to complete your viewing experience.

Elsewhere on Friday ...

Undercover Boss (7 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): The CEO of American Seafoods goes under cover within his own business.

Who Do You Think You Are? (7 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Blair Underwood learns about his family history

Men's college volleyball (7 p.m., BYUtv): UC Santa Barbara at BYU

A Gifted Man (8 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): Michael learns his high-school sweetheart has an irreversible condition.

Great Performances (8 p.m., PBS/Ch. 7): A performance of the Broadway show "Memphis," which won four Tony Awards - including best musical.

Fringe (8 p.m., Fox/Ch. 13): The team has to take drastic measures to prevent life-threatening events.

Blue Bloods (9 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): An under cover detective is murdered.

Spartacus: Vengeance (11 p.m. Starz): Spartacus tries to free Crixus from Roman captivity.

Elsewhere n Saturday ...

Women's college gymnastics (1 p.m., BYUtv): BYU vs. Utah State vs. Southern Utah

Men's college basketball (4 p.m., BYUtv): Portland at BYU

Men's college volleyball (7 p.m., BYUtv): UC Santa Barbara at BYU

The Firm (8 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Mitch visits Sarah in jail, but she won't answer his questions.

Being Human (8 and 10 p.m., BBC America): Annie, George and Tom try to stay under the radar as the fourth season begins.

An Idiot Abroad: The Bucket List (8 and 11 p.m., Science): Karl joins a high school choir.

Elsewhere on Sunday ...

NBA All-Star Game (5:30 p.m., TNT): Live from Orlando.

The Amazing Race (7 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): The teams race through Buenos Aires, Argentina.

The Walking Dead (7, 9 and 10:30 p.m., AMC): Rick and Shane disagree about how to deal with an outsider.

The Celebrity Apprentice (8 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): The awful celebrities try to put together a medieval show - and somebody gets hurt in the process.

Luck (10 p.m, HBO): Ace forces Escalante to swap jockeys.

Eastbound & Down (11 p.m., HBO): Kenny goes in search of April.

Life's Too Short (11:30 p.m., HBO): Warwick makes a guest appearance at a wedding.