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Robert Kirby

Last Updated Apr 29, 2016 09:47PM

Editor’s note: Robert Kirby is off. This is a reprint of an earlier column. The first club I ever belonged to was the Elwood Street Rangers. I was 10. It was the year I realized the necessity of solidarity. The Rangers was a gang by today’s standards. We called ourselves a club because the only concept of a gang back then was “West Side Story,” and no way were we going to dance. The club initially consisted of Leon Krygowski and me. Later, because numbers were so very important, we …

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  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I made a vow with Satan, and now I’m paying the price with a Disney Cruise
    Everyone has a list titled “Things I Will Never Do Again.” These are personal experiences that ended so horribly the mere idea of attempting them agai...
    Updated Apr 27 2016 07:02 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    The statue of Brigham Young at BYU is seen in this photo from September 2013. Kirby: How bad is breaking the BYU Honor Code? Depends on how you regard honor
    I went to BYU years ago. I don’t recall signing an Honor Code. It’s possible I did; it’s one of those things a guy like me would have immediately forg...
    Updated Apr 24 2016 12:48 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Lennie Mahler  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   The Huntsman family is buying The Salt Lake Tribune)  . Kirby: Here’s what to expect now that I’m part of the Huntsman family
    You’ve all heard the news by now. The Salt Lake Tribune is being purchased by the LDS Church, more specifically by one of its shell corporations, Hunt...
    Updated Apr 22 2016 08:56 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I’ve got too much job experience
    Chicago White Sox player Adam LaRoche announced his retirement from baseball after being told by the club president to reduce the frequency of bringin...
    Updated Apr 21 2016 10:28 am   |     |   Share


MORE ROBERT KIRBY COLUMNS
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I lied — and that’s the gospel truth
    I lied to my LDS bishop in order to serve a mission. It bothered me a little at the time, but I got over it rather quickly. It was a practical matter ...
    Updated Apr 17 2016 07:00 am   |     |   Share
  • (Scott Sommerdorf   |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   Fresh flowers from ’Growing Empire’ in Millcreek for sale at the opening day of the 2014 Downtown Farmers Market at Pioneer Park, Saturday, June 14, 2014. Kirby: The grass is always greener on my neighbor’s side of the fence
    My next door neighbors are Geoff and Karly Short. Geoff, whom I call “Bishop Short” on Sunday, is a reasonable and congenial person. Not only is he my...
    Updated Apr 16 2016 07:00 am   |     |   Share
  • (Lennie Mahler  |  Tribune file photo The Huntsman family is buying The Salt Lake Tribune)  . Kirby: What will I do if the Tribune goes out of business?
    OK, I’m going to answer a question people won’t stop asking me. I’ve grown weary of answering it one at a time, so I’ll do it here and now for everyon...
    Updated Apr 14 2016 07:00 am   |     |   Share
  • This January 2005 image made by the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope shows the Whirlpool Galaxy (M51) and a companion galaxy. The Whirlpool’s two curving arms are star-formation factories, compressing hydrogen gas and creating clusters of new stars.  The Hubble Space Telescope marks its 25th anniversary. A full decade in the making, Hubble rocketed into orbit on April 24, 1990, aboard space shuttle Discovery.  (NASA, ESA, S. Beckwith (STScI), Hubble Heritage Team STS via AP) Kirby: I hope I don’t have to explain religion to space aliens
    In the upcoming issue of Discover magazine, scientists explore the possibility of Earth being contacted by technologically superior extraterrestrials ...
    Updated Apr 10 2016 07:00 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Be smart — don’t talk to teenagers
    One morning when I was in high school, my mom announced that we were having pancakes for breakfast. I said, “Outasight!” The word was barely out of my...
    Updated Apr 13 2016 05:02 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Chris Detrick  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   Abigail Ramirez and Jamie Galindo drop a bowling ball onto a concrete beam during an experiment at Judge Memorial High School Tuesday April 5, 2016. Dr. Dasch Houdeshel’s students were testing the structural strength of concrete beams built with and without tin cans inside of them by dropping a 10 pound bowling ball from different heights onto them. The concrete beams without cans survived a 10 lb bowling ball dropped from 8 feet, where the beams with cans broke in half from a drop of as low as six inches. Kirby: Who better to teach integrity than a mindless vandal like me?
    I’m not proud of this, but I once shot out some windows when I was a teenager. Things probably wouldn’t have gone so badly (for me) if I’d used a BB g...
    Updated Apr 06 2016 10:47 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Al Hartmann  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Thousands gathered on the steps of the Utah State Capitol Monday March 29 to listen and pray with Franklin Graham, son of evangelist Billy Graham.  It was part of Franklin Graham’s 50-state Decision America Tour. Kirby: We need to vote God out of politics
    The Rev. Franklin Graham came to Salt Lake City last week to encourage us to put God back into politics. It was a waste of time. This is Utah. God has...
    Updated Apr 06 2016 08:25 am   |     |   Share
  • Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump smiles as he speaks at a campaign stop Tuesday, March 29, 2016, in Janesville, Wis. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh) Kirby: There’s no time like the present to get hysterical about President Trump
    It’s over. Donald Trump has been elected president of the United States. We must deal now with what we have wrought. Yes, I know Trump hasn’t really ...
    Updated Apr 01 2016 08:35 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Do you really want to live forever?
    Ever feel like life has passed you by, that you have failed to live up to your full potential? If so, I have good and bad news for you. First, the ba...
    Updated Mar 30 2016 09:41 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Politicking from the LDS pulpit? Watch out
    The political caucuses are over in Utah. Bernie Sanders whipped Hilary Clinton, and Ted Cruz beat Donald Trump. Then they all left town. Praise the Lo...
    Updated Mar 27 2016 12:00 am   |     |   Share
  • (Al Hartmann  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    Thousands gathered on the steps of the Utah State Capitol Monday March 29 to listen and pray with Franklin Graham, son of evangelist Billy Graham.  It was part of Franklin Graham’s 50-state Decision America Tour. Kirby: We need to vote God out of politics
    The Rev. Franklin Graham came to Salt Lake City last week to encourage us to put God back into politics. It was a waste of time. This is Utah. God has...
    Updated Apr 06 2016 08:25 am   |     |   Share
  • Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump smiles as he speaks at a campaign stop Tuesday, March 29, 2016, in Janesville, Wis. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh) Kirby: There’s no time like the present to get hysterical about President Trump
    It’s over. Donald Trump has been elected president of the United States. We must deal now with what we have wrought. Yes, I know Trump hasn’t really ...
    Updated Apr 01 2016 08:35 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Do you really want to live forever?
    Ever feel like life has passed you by, that you have failed to live up to your full potential? If so, I have good and bad news for you. First, the ba...
    Updated Mar 30 2016 09:41 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Politicking from the LDS pulpit? Watch out
    The political caucuses are over in Utah. Bernie Sanders whipped Hilary Clinton, and Ted Cruz beat Donald Trump. Then they all left town. Praise the Lo...
    Updated Mar 27 2016 12:00 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I went to buy medicinal marijuana and all I got was this lousy shoulder pain
    De Beque, Colorado • When Sonny and I pulled into Kush Gardens, the place looked like a convenience store transformed into a bunker. The chain link ...
    Updated Mar 25 2016 09:52 pm   |     |   Share
  • Kirby: Highway to the ganja zone
    We got as far as Moab the first day. It’s only three hours from Sonny’s house, but we kept having to stop for road kill and sparkly things. I’ve come...
    Updated Mar 23 2016 09:59 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Who came up with 3-hour church? Not God
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is somewhere in Colorado and won’t answer his phone. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Recently, I mentioned ha...
    Updated Mar 20 2016 03:18 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Scott Sommerdorf   |  The Salt Lake Tribune)     UHP officer Wyatt Weber calls for a patrol car as a suspect runs from the scene. The subject was encountered on the way to dinner on North Temple after being on patrol with the UHP helicopter looking for stolen cars, Friday, March 11, 2016. Tribune columnist, and former policeman Robert Kirby stands by ready to assist if needed. Kirby: The dangers of running your mouth (esp. to plainclothes police officers)
    It’s impossible to be human for longer than a couple of years without experiencing that special moment when it dawns on us that we need to shut up. Bu...
    Updated Mar 19 2016 03:46 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Scott Sommerdorf   |  The Salt Lake Tribune)     UHP CFO Wyatt Weber looks for a car fleeing from police as the copter banks hard left while on patrol with the UHP helicopter looking for stolen cars, Friday, March 11, 2016. Kirby: Yep, that was me chasing you in a helicopter last week
    Orbiting 500 feet over Salt Lake Valley in the middle of the night is like performing in a bad Broadway play. The footlights are on but most of the au...
    Updated Mar 17 2016 08:33 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I’m OK with being judgmental
    “The most destructive thing I’ve ever done was to believe someone else’s opinion of me.” — Teal Blue Jay. I readily admit to being overly judgmenta...
    Updated Mar 13 2016 07:00 am   |     |   Share
  • (Chris Detrick  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   Robert Kirby and friend Sonny inspect the damage after they fired a pool ball out of a cannon into paint buckets in Rush Valley Saturday March 21, 2015. Kirby: I’m hitting the road — where should I go?
    Sonny and I are leaving Wednesday for a road trip around the southern part of Utah. It’s almost spring and time to get out of the house. We don’t care...
    Updated Mar 11 2016 08:26 pm   |     |   Share
  • Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally in Concord, N.C., Monday, March 7, 2016. (AP Photo/Gerry Broome) Kirby: Want to hurt Trump? Don’t move to Canada
    Just for fun (or not) let’s make a list of all the celebrities who have announced their intention to leave the United States if Donald Trump is electe...
    Updated Mar 10 2016 07:38 am   |     |   Share