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Robert Kirby

Last Updated Jun 29, 2016 07:17PM

A couple of weeks ago in Butte, Mont., I watched an elderly couple have a full-on public meltdown in the hallway of a motel. We had driven 500 miles and my wife was still asleep. I crept out of our room and went in search of the free breakfast. That’s when I encountered the couple. The angry woman was accusing one of the housekeeping staff of stealing a jewelry case they had left in the room. The young, tearful worker was trying to explain in really poor English that they …

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  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Wait, did we miss the second coming?
    A few days ago, I dug out my LDS patriarchal blessing to see how I was doing. Traditionally given to Mormon teens, the blessings are intended to be ...
    Updated Jul 07 2015 11:36 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Trent Nelson  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   The Christus, a statue of Jesus Christ on display at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Temple Square. Kirby: Pre-mortal resistance was futile
    One of the basic tenets of Mormon theology is that all human beings are the spirit children of God. We were created long before being born here on Ear...
    Updated Jun 26 2016 12:38 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune)   Utah school districts are unfazed by new federal rules regarding bathroom accommodations for transgender students. Mount Jordan Middle School in Sandy has unisex-bathrooms located in every hallway. Kirby: Worried about transgender people in your bathroom? I’ve seen worse
    After 63 years on this planet, I have a lot of public restroom experience. This experience is rapidly increasing along with my age and incontinency. ...
    Updated Jun 25 2016 09:52 am   |     |   Share
  • (Chris Detrick  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   Robert Kirby aims a pool ball cannon at a clothes washer in Rush Valley in 2015. Kirby: Go ahead, control my guns
    Fair warning. Today’s column is about gun control. It may cause anger in some readers, particularly those whose views are extreme on either side of th...
    Updated Jun 22 2016 10:27 pm   |     |   Share


MORE ROBERT KIRBY COLUMNS
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Thanks, Dad, for never killing me
    Being that it’s Father’s Day, I should probably reflect on the legacy my own father has (and hasn’t) passed onto me. In 1953 it was popular in the U....
    Updated Jun 20 2016 03:53 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Chris Detrick  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   The remains of the concrete beam after a bowling ball was dropped onto it during an experiment at Judge Memorial High School last month. Dr. Dasch Houdeshel’s students were testing the structural strength of concrete beams built with and without tin cans inside of them by dropping a 10 pound bowling ball from different heights onto them. The concrete beams without cans survived a 10 lb bowling ball dropped from 8 feet, where the beams with cans broke in half from a drop of as low as six inches. Kirby: I have the right to bear bowling balls
    My family — all 17 of us — survived a trip to Alberta, Canada. We arrived home battered and exhausted last week. It’s taken this long to unpack, rest ...
    Updated Jun 23 2016 07:08 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: The only objectionable thing about a gay wedding is me
    I’ll just come right out and say it so you can stop reading if this sort of thing offends you. Ready? I performed my first LGBT wedding on Saturday. ...
    Updated Jun 15 2016 09:58 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: The kingdom of heaven is full of howling children
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is off today. This is a reprint of an earlier column. The quietest church service I ever attended was a Catholic Mass...
    Updated Jun 14 2016 03:22 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Here’s one way to tell if your job is crap
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is on vacation, but he’s definitely coming back. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Forget your college degrees,...
    Updated Jun 10 2016 09:22 pm   |     |   Share
  • | Courtesy Robert Kirby  Robert Kirby and his wife, Irene, on their wedding day. Oct. 10, 1975. Kirby: Canadians can be terrorists — just ask my wife
    Editor’s note: Robert Kirby is risking his life in Canada. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Federal agents are conducting a background che...
    Updated Jun 08 2016 10:04 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Don’t let religion — or its absence — tear a family apart
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is in Canada. This is a reprint of an earlier column. I touched a pulse. Or maybe it was a nerve. Anyway, the column ...
    Updated Jun 05 2016 09:52 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Better to lose control than lose a loved one who’s living a different lifestyle
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is in Canada, eh. This is a reprint of an earlier column. A couple of weeks ago, I listened to someone lament the fa...
    Updated Jun 04 2016 07:00 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Families shouldn’t be together for more than a few hours
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is en route to Canada. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Vacation this year was a family reunion at Bear Lake. ...
    Updated Jun 01 2016 10:24 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Rick Egan  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    LDS faithful stand as they join the choir in singing a hymn, during the 185th Annual LDS General Conference Priesthood Session, Saturday, April 4, 2015. Kirby: It’s past time Led Zeppelin was in the LDS hymnbook
    Most Sundays I get to church early. The main reason is to score a seat on a padded pew. Church can sometimes be annoying enough without adding the pai...
    Updated May 29 2016 10:21 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Don’t let religion — or its absence — tear a family apart
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is in Canada. This is a reprint of an earlier column. I touched a pulse. Or maybe it was a nerve. Anyway, the column ...
    Updated Jun 05 2016 09:52 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Better to lose control than lose a loved one who’s living a different lifestyle
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is in Canada, eh. This is a reprint of an earlier column. A couple of weeks ago, I listened to someone lament the fa...
    Updated Jun 04 2016 07:00 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: Families shouldn’t be together for more than a few hours
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby is en route to Canada. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Vacation this year was a family reunion at Bear Lake. ...
    Updated Jun 01 2016 10:24 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Rick Egan  |  The Salt Lake Tribune)    LDS faithful stand as they join the choir in singing a hymn, during the 185th Annual LDS General Conference Priesthood Session, Saturday, April 4, 2015. Kirby: It’s past time Led Zeppelin was in the LDS hymnbook
    Most Sundays I get to church early. The main reason is to score a seat on a padded pew. Church can sometimes be annoying enough without adding the pai...
    Updated May 29 2016 10:21 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I’m leaving for Canada
    Upon being informed that we would be attending this year’s reunion of my wife’s family, I admit to becoming a little emotional. The reunion will take ...
    Updated May 27 2016 09:01 pm   |     |   Share
  • Transportation Security Administration agents work at a security checkpoint in terminal C at Newark Liberty International airport Monday, May 23, 2016, in Newark, N.J. Earlier Monday, it was announced that the TSA is adding over 100 more agents by next month. (AP Photo/Mel Evans) Kirby: Annoyed by airport security? Just be glad I’m not your TSA agent
    We got lucky in Orlando, Fla., and Salt Lake City. Lines at TSA checkpoints did not rat maze through the airport, extend out the door and stretch over...
    Updated May 25 2016 10:41 pm   |     |   Share
  • Courtesy Robert Kirby  Robert Kirby (in verboten sunglasses) and temporary mission companion Danilo Prego in 1974 in Uruguay. Kirby: Thus saith the Lord, go and get yourself some cheap sunglasses
    This is my temporary LDS missionary companion Danilo Prego and me at a beach in San Jose de Carrasco, Uruguay, on New Year’s Day, 1974. It’s about 99 ...
    Updated May 23 2016 03:36 pm   |     |   Share
  • |  Courtesy Robert Kirby  Robert Kirby and grandkids enjoy a stop on their 2016 Disney cruise. Kirby: This kraken has finally washed ashore
    We arrived home late Sunday night after sailing 2,300 miles around the Caribbean under the lawless flag of the Mouse. It was a grueling but successfu...
    Updated May 20 2016 09:21 pm   |     |   Share
  • (Scott Sommerdorf   |  The Salt Lake Tribune)   Golfers tee off at Glendale Golf Course, Sunday, February 15, 2015. Kirby: Got problems? Being bad at golf can help
    Editor’s note: Robert Kirby’s hands are sunburned from his recent cruise and he can’t type. This is a reprint of an earlier column. Every once in...
    Updated May 18 2016 10:43 pm   |     |   Share
  • |  Courtesy  Robert Kirby at All Saints Kirby Cane church in Norfolk, England. Kirby: Is there summer school for Sunday school?
    Editor’s note • After spending a week together on a Disney Cruise, Robert Kirby’s family bundled him into a life raft and pushed him out to sea. This ...
    Updated May 15 2016 10:09 am   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I can’t remember all the things I can’t remember
    Editor’s note: We think Robert Kirby is likely drunk on a beach somewhere. This is a reprint of an earlier column. A recent worldwide study reveal...
    Updated May 13 2016 07:40 pm   |     |   Share
  • Robert Kirby Kirby: I’ve painted myself into an artistic corner
    Editor’s note • Robert Kirby was last seen in Key West, Fla. This is a reprint of an earlier column. At a recent art auction, I was staring at a p...
    Updated Jun 09 2016 08:20 pm   |     |   Share