This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2008, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
My most memorable Easter was the one where my parents hid a large chocolate bunny over a heat vent in the front room.
When we got up the next morning to hunt eggs, the bunny had been reduced to a puddle. We never forgot him, though. For years he came to mind every time the furnace kicked on.
No one knows exactly when rabbits became the official symbol of Easter, surpassing lilies, eggs, church, bow ties and new dresses. Some people believe the practice began during the Dark Ages, when a lot of really stupid stuff became fashionable.
Note: The Dark Ages lasted from 476 to 1,000 A.D. - longer in Idaho and parts of Wyoming.
Because chocolate originally comes from the South American cocoa bean, and Colombian drug cartels weren't invented until the '60s, the first chocolate Easter bunnies were actually real rabbits. Dead, of course. Live rabbits don't hide well.
Later, when real rabbits became scarce, the chocolate Easter bunny was fashioned out of other more common delicacies. Many a medieval child awoke Easter morning to a porridge bunny, a blood pudding rabbit or simply an Easter rat.
Eventually - thanks in large part to the devout, albeit murderous, spread of Christianity - Europe obtained the ultimate symbol of Easter peace: chocolate.
It still took time to bring rabbits and chocolate together. For a while people just drank the stuff. Then someone started dunking rabbits in their hot chocolate and the rest is, as they say, a commercial success.
The specific religious connection between bunnies and the Resurrection is about as confusing as the average explanation of the Trinity, but it makes people feel good; and that, more than sense, is what really counts in a holy day.
Today, modern chocolate Easter bunnies come in many forms, none of which are protected by law or advocated for by a militant group.
There was a group a few years ago - Free Easter Chocolate Animals League - but its own acronym killed it. You can bite the ears off chocolate bunnies now and no one will care.
The basic model Easter rabbit weighs about 8 ounces, is hollow and composed of an industrial grade chocolate that is equal parts sugar, lard and chalk. Finer quality chocolates are used in other Easter bunnies, some of which cost as much as platinum or a divorce.
Speaking of which, chocolate reportedly has a mysterious effect on women. Buying your wife the finest quality could convince her that you might as well sleep on the couch every night.
This brief history of the chocolate bunny is, of course, highly speculative. We should just be grateful that it was a rabbit. A chocolate weasel doesn't sound as nice and a chocolate horse would be cost-prohibitive.