Mitt Romney wrote in his Olympic memoir that I'm the kind of reporter who is always looking to uncover the next big scandal.
Lucky for Mitt, Suzy Scrapbooker isn't covering his presidential campaign.
In the past month, Suzy has:
* Exposed flaws and forced dethronements in the industry's most prestigious talent show, the Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame Contest.
* Discovered juicy tidbits from a private message board in which the general manager and some designers dissed fellow members of the popular Two Peas in a Bucket Web site, whose owner specializes in family-friendly media.
* Called out both companies for deleting message-board posts about the scandals.
The dramas played out mostly on the Internet, where hundreds of thousands of scrapbookers seek inspiration, find friendship, get advice and judge each other.
Seriously. If you think the term Suzy Scrapbooker is demeaning, you should see the bathroom-wall banter on scrapbook message boards and blogs.
October proved especially busy.
It began with the publication of the 2007 Hall of Fame issue, wherein one of the entries contained a photo credit.
The rules of the contest say all work submitted, including photos, must be your own, so readers were understandably confused. Their bewilderment turned to anger when the company provided implausible explanations, and from anger to outrage when officials censored debate on the matter.
Scrapbookers called for boycotts, complaints to the Federal Trade Commission and the head of Kristina Contes, the winner who unwittingly asked that her friend, a photographer and HOF winner, receive credit. Then scrapbookers called out other winners whose photos looked suspicious.
Ultimately, the error was blamed on an editorial mixup, Contes was disqualified and another winner withdrew. On Friday, their slots were filled by two runners-up.
"Mobs of women were freaking out and they had no choice," Contes said of her disqualification. "It's sad and embarrassing for women to behave like this, to go on the Internet and hunt people down like animals."
The Garden Girls sympathized with Contes. Then, on their Two Peas message board, the designers engaged in the same kind of name-calling and nasty commentary that had offended them.
Snippets of their conversations were posted on a blog called Scrap Smack 2, established so the Suzys could dish about the industry and its starlets without being blackballed, getting their hands slapped or having their comments deleted.
To understand Suzy's frustration, it helps to know a little about her.
Suzy buys a lot of scrapbook supplies and, occasionally, uses them. She isn't obsessed with design teams, but, like most people, enjoys praise from her peers. Suzy scrapbooks birthdays, vacations and life's little moments, and has spread much joy with her craft.
Without Suzy, the scrapbooking industry would collapse.
In recent years, Suzy's brand of scrapbooking has been eclipsed by younger, hipper women who prefer to be called artists. Suzy resents these Debby Designers and their "seven random things about me" style. She's sick of their celebrity status, "so there" sentiments and off-hand comments about cropped pants and Crocs.
But mostly, the Suzys are fed up with the magazine publishers and industry honchos who turned their hobby into a competitive sport, feeding off female insecurity and hawking a never-ending supply of products through contests, pub calls and design-team tryouts.
Until recently, the Debbys, the suits and the scrapbooking community at large dismissed the Suzys as bitter busybodies with time on their hands and jealousy in their hearts.
Big mistake. Huge.
The Debbys, too, are misunderstood. They still tingle when their work is published and blush when asked for autographs. Despite all the hype about "living the dream," some days being Debby is just a job, and a poor-paying one at that.
Blogging, teaching, designing on deadline, putting up with the negativity - I mean, you try smiling and bouncing and being all sunshine and dewdrops, and see if you don't get a bit defensive.
Mike Hartnett, author of the industry newsletter Creative Leisure News, believes all this nitpicking and nastiness is damaging the very thing these scrapbookers say they want to protect: the integrity and credibility of their pastime.
"Imagine some novice stumbling onto some of these boards and blogs. I bet she'd choose another hobby," Hartnett says.
I admit, the recent fiascos look like the script for "Mean Girls II." And, as is so often the case on the Internet, some people have gone way overboard, ruining reputations and threatening business relationships all under the cover of anonymity.
But before you say, "It's only scrapbooking, get over it already," ask yourself: Is it petty for consumers to demand corporate accountability? Is it unbecoming to insist on fair play?
Look. I'm no Debby, but I scraplift her designs.
I'm no smacker; I talk about people behind their backs. (It's called manners, as D-List comedian Kathy Griffin says.)
And while I'm wearing cropped pants as I write this, I'm no Suzy, either. I don't fault magazines or manufacturers for my insecurity and uncontrolled spending any more than I blame seething scrappers for my strange attraction to their Web sites.
I do get upset when people cut in line, behave like hypocrites and treat my hobby like a silly little distraction. And I have no problem with the Suzys throwing a "pay attention to me" party, and provoking a Day of Reckoning for those who treat them with condescension.
In fact, I've persuaded The Salt Lake Tribune to sponsor a contest about it. All you have to do is create a one or two-page layout, making light of the scrap flaps or some aspect of the scrapbooking industry. Design will not count as much as wit, and extra credit will be awarded to entrants who poke fun at themselves. Same for Mitt Romney.
I kid. I kid.
There are rules, but I reserve the right to ignore them. There are prizes, but I haven't figured out what they are. Your layouts will be featured - on the Web site of a midsize newspaper.
Our goal is to give scrapbookers a creative outlet for their frustrations, bring some perspective to current events and drive up traffic on the Tribune's home page (www.sltrib.com). Why lie?
I'm already on record as saying scrapbookers have lost their sense of humor. Here's your chance to prove me wrong.
---
* LINDA FANTIN can be contacted at scrapbooking@sltrib.com. Send comments about this column to livingeditor@sltrib.com.
First ever 'It's Just Scrapbooking, Get Over It' contest
* Submit a one- or two-page layout poking fun at a scrap flap or some other aspect of the industry.
* Contestants must be 18 or older, live in the United States and provide their name, address and phone number for verification.
* All entries must be free of profanity and personal attacks, and received by Nov. 19. Entries also may not violate copyright laws, so cover your butt.
* Do not send originals unless you're OK with not getting them back. Rather, e-mail submissions to scrapbooking@sltrib.com.
* The winner will get all the scrapbook supplies we can scrape together between now and then (we're talking good stuff, not junk) and, if you're lucky, a little cash. We reserve the right to divide the purse in the event of a split decision.
Workshop: Fall '07 recipe book
Materials
* We R Memory Keepers Raw Goods 5-by-7-inch Mini Album
* Patterned paper: Bohemia Collection from My Mind's Eye; Crush Collection Coral by Crate Paper
* Chipboard letters: Daisyds Say Something Chipboard Titles
* Flowers: Floral Embellishments
* Rub-ons: Basic Grey, American Craft
* Ribbon: My Mind's Eye
* Felt embellishments: American Crafts, Heidi Grace Designs
* Fall brads: Karen Foster Design
* Gems: My Mind's Eye
* Charm: Mom & Me
* Miscellaneous: Apple button, rusty leaf, "basil" charm
Try this
To get a template for recipe cards, go to www.allrecipes.com, call up a simple recipe, click on print, choose 4-by-6-inch card. Select all and copy the text into Microsoft Word and select "keep source formatting," and type over the copy with your own ingredients and directions.
Products we like
Daisyds Rub-on Transfer Tape, $4.99
Cosmo Cricket Ready-Set-Chipboard letters, $3.99
Autumn Leaves French Twist Rubons, $3.99
7gypsies Take Note clear stamps, $14.96
Basic Grey magnetic buckles, $6.99
Buy the book
'ASK THE MASTERS': Ask any scrapbooker and they'll confess: It doesn't take long to build a stash of supplies. But before you hold a paper-and-glue garage sale, read this book by Memory Makers. In it, you will find dozens of ideas and new uses for brads, eyelets, patterned papers, charms, ribbons, die cuts and much more. Ask the Masters: Making the Most of Your Scrapbook Supplies (Memory Makers, $22.95)
