This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2007, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Opinions about family planning vary among Mormons. There is no official church policy. On Sunday, young couples were counseled during LDS General Conference "to not postpone having children."
It's wise counsel if you take into account that it's also general counsel. Just because you can have kids doesn't mean that you should.
I got married six months after finishing an LDS mission. Fast but not even close to the record. I was 23 years old and - for all the experiences I had just had - still only slightly smarter than cement.
Before the wedding, my wife and I had discussed our future. We would definitely get an apartment, and maybe later a puppy. That's it. That was our plan.
I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life other than be married. Go to school, learn a trade, rob banks - it was a huge blank.
We weren't doomed. My wife quickly figured out that a lot more needed to be figured out. So, while we did that, we would work our entry-level jobs and save what we could. Oh, and wait for the responsibility of children.
We hadn't reckoned on church.
Two months after we were married, I sat through a priesthood lesson during which the instructor denounced all forms of birth control.
Using a few general-authority quotes and a fat load of his own opinion, he concluded that God was personally insulted by contraception.
Young and still trying to be someone else's version of a dutiful Mormon, I bought it. My wife and I tossed out our birth control and let the Lord and biology take over. We were pregnant in five minutes.
The birth of a daughter nine months later wiped out our meager savings. Any planning for the future had to be made around two jobs and mounting bills. Eventually, our plan for life spiraled down to just making ends meet.
On the bright side, we got a great daughter. Thirty-one years later, she's still a blessing. And after a lot of hard and bitter knocks, eventually I found a career that pays the bills.
There are a lot of ways to look at this, nearly all of them moot. My least favorite is that we followed wise counsel and, through a lot of special trials, discovered the blessings of being obedient.
I did learn something of value from the experience. And depending on how you choose, so will you. But the lesson, like the choice, is a personal one.
Today I prefer to focus on the fact that I was once insecure enough to let someone pressure me into doing something that was, in point of fact, none of his business - and to never let it happen again.