The new fall TV season begins next week as broadcast networks premiere everything from the musically inclined "Viva Laughlin" to a butt-kicking new "Bionic Woman." And just in case you fear reality-TV withdrawal, there are even a couple of those, including "Kid Nation," which has spawned allegations of child abuse.

Salt Lake Tribune television critic Vince Horiuchi, along with a 500-pound bag of Cheetos, planted himself on a couch and watched all the available pilots for this season's new shows until he finished them or exploded in a vapor of orange powder.

Here's his assessment of each new series, based on just the pilot episode, and his pick for the most promising show of each night. Saturdays are reserved for parties and dates, so don't look for any new shows then.

Horiuchi will provide full reviews on most of the series as they premiere in the coming weeks.

Monday Spotlight

Chuck (Comedy, 7 p.m., KSL Channel 5, premieres Sept. 24)

Have you ever met a member of Best Buy's technical-support "Geek Squad" who did nothing but confuse you more while you attempted to buy a computer?

Well, Chuck (Zachary Levi) is a tech-support nerd at a big-box electronics store who does so much more in this lively comedy/thriller.

He unwittingly becomes the pawn between the NSA and the CIA when he absorbs a whole mess of government secrets from an e-mail sent by a former college buddy who died trying to get them out.

What Chuck knows is so vital to these agencies, they'll protect him with their lives, including one agent who knows quite a few treacherous moves.

"She's a great character," said Yvonne Strzechowski, who plays fetching, but deadly, agent Sarah Walker. "I mean, she's very strong. She's really intelligent. And she's very physically capable."

Strzechowski, along with the rest of the cast, also is fun to watch. Between the gunfights, bomb disarmaments and swirling face kicks, these characters possess an undeniable charm.

The Big Bang Theory (Comedy, 7:30 p.m., KUTV Channel 2, premieres Sept. 24)

The Revenge of the Nerds becomes The Battle of the Nerds when this half-hour sitcom about two socially inept brainiacs (Johnny Galecki and Jim Parsons) faces off against "Chuck" and his cohort of geeks. And it will be a dilemma, because this likable comedy about how these two brilliant graduates deal with a beautiful woman (Kaley Cuoco) who moves in across the hall is as funny as "Chuck."

K-Ville (Drama, 8 p.m., KSTU Channel 13, premieres Monday)

Never has a television drama thrown away more potential. The premise is a great one: New Orleans cops dealing with crime in a near-hopeless post-Katrina city. What could have been a serious look at recovery and chaos in a place in desperate need of help gives way to standard cop chases, clichéd villains and boring action. A city in need of our attention deserves a more earnest series; let's hope the creators eventually see the light.

Aliens in America (Comedy, 8 p.m., KUCW Channel 30, premieres Oct. 1)

If this fish-out-of-water tale of a Middle Eastern exchange student who comes to live with a Middle American family is going to work, it needs two things: likable actors and fresh satire with an edge. It has an amiable cast - with Dan Byrd as the teenage son who befriends the new live-in Pakistani exchange student, played by Adhir Kalyan - but the comic jabs at racism, fear and terrorism seem exhausted.

Samantha Who? (Comedy, 8:30 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, premieres Oct. 15)

Anyone who doubts that "Married . . . With Children's" Christina Applegate is a bright and funny comic actress needs to see her new starring vehicle. She's a woman who suffers from memory loss after an accident - knowing nothing of her past - but she begins to realize she was a raging monster in her "former" life. Every time Applegate's on screen, great comical moments happen thanks to her timing and her ability to run with good writing. Finally, after her break from "Married," she might have the television gem she deserves.

Journeyman (Drama, 9 p.m., KSL Channel 5, premieres Sept. 24)

Time-travel stories are inherently confusing. Just exactly how did the "Back to the Future" kid meet his older self in the future if he disappeared in the De Lorean in the past? Well, this new time-travel thriller about a San Francisco newspaper reporter who inexplicably goes forward and backward in time to save people is as confusing as a science-fiction story can be. The fact that it's not as compelling as any of the "Back to the Future" movies or just about any other time-travel tale is a bad sign. Perhaps the creators need to go back in time to make the script more understandable.

Tuesday Spotlight

Reaper (Comedy, 8 p.m., KUCW Channel 30, premieres Sept. 25)

Here's something else that was unbelievable: The best new pilot I saw this season is from the CW, the network whose most popular show every week is "Friday Night Smackdown!"

This horror comedy about a 21-year-old slacker who becomes a bounty hunter for the devil is ferociously funny, thrilling and fresh, even though it could be described as a mix of "Ghostbusters" and "Clerks."

For starters, the producers managed to get the devilish Ray Wise (who was plenty evil as Leland Palmer in "Twin Peaks") to play Satan himself in a role he obviously relishes.

"We looked high and low for the right devil, I have to say. And we had spent a lot of time looking at many actors and their portrayal of the devil," said co-executive producer Deborah Spera. "Ray walked in and smiled at us, and that was it."

And if it sounds like a perfect vehicle for a director like Kevin Smith, the comic-book-loving creator of "Clerks" and "Mallrats," relish in the fact that he directed the pilot episode to perfection. Sadly, that may be the only episode he makes in the near future because he's helming a new movie.

Cavemen (Comedy, 7 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, premieres Oct. 2)

Yes, the most talked-about sitcom this season, based on the Geico insurance commercials, is as ghastly and primitive as I feared. Likely to knock your senses back to the Stone Age, this take on prejudice and societal mores seen through the eyes of cavemen living in the present day (by the way, where are the cavewomen?) is proving to be a bad idea. What was to be the pilot is being reshot with a new cast member and shuttled to a later week. Not a good start.

Carpoolers (Comedy, 7:30 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, premieres Oct. 2)

Another view of the office, this time from the viewpoint of getting to and from work. Four guys (Fred Goss, Jerry O'Connell, TJ Miller and Tim Peper) carpool every morning and afternoon, bonding times that allow them to bare their feelings. It's funny with a good cast and decent writing, but don't think of it as the savior of the sagging sitcom. Unfortunately, if you don't time it right, you have to endure "Cavemen" beforehand. Thank heavens for TiVo.

Cane (Drama, 9 p.m., KUTV Channel 2, Sept. 25, one hour)

Think "Dallas" in the sugar-cane fields of Florida. Jimmy Smits, fresh off the campaign trail in "The West Wing," takes on a power-hungry family in transition. The series is well-cast, including the great Oscar winner Rita Moreno and Hector Elizondo as the head of a family struggling to compete in the distribution of rum and sugar. While it has grandiose ambitions, "Cane" is not necessarily big in scope or story. In fact, so little is shot under the backdrop of south Florida, you'd think they could have filmed the whole thing in a Burbank studio.

Wednesday Spotlight

Dirty Sexy Money (Drama, 9 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, Sept. 26)

Now here's a rich, juicy soap opera packaged in a credible storyline. The wonderfully talented Peter Krause ("Six Feet Under") is a civil attorney who is corraled into becoming the attorney for a super-wealthy New York City family, headed by Donald Sutherland and Jill Clayburgh. Throw in a Paris Hilton debutante, a Kennedyesque politician having an affair and other socialite misfits, and you have a compelling drama about the price of wealth and fame.

While the characters may seem familiar, the show's co-creator, Craig Wright, insists they are not people ripped from the headlines.

"I'm being absolutely honest with you when I say I don't even get a paper. I don't read the tabloids, let alone The New York Times, and so I wasn't basing this family on anyone specific," he said. "I was basing it on what I think I know about people."

Yeah, right.

Kid Nation (Reality, 7 p.m., KUTV Channel 2, premieres Wednesday)

Perhaps the most controversial television show of the new season is this reality series that puts teens and preteens in an abandoned town to see if they can make a go of it without adult supervision. Of course, there are plenty of adults around, except they're about 10 feet away behind the camera. But questions have been raised about the production: Did the children work longer than state laws restrict? Why did they shoot during the school year instead of summer? And were kids prepared for the likely humiliation they may suffer on national television?

Pushing Daisies (Comedy, 7 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, premieres Oct. 3, one hour)

In this quirky, stylized comedy from director Barry Sonnenfeld ("The Addams Family," "Men in Black"), death is hardly final. Ned (Lee Pace) is a pie-shop owner who has the power to bring the dead back to life - but with rules. If he touches them again, they die and stay dead. That poses a problem when he brings back the love of his life but is unable to touch her again. This was perhaps the one critical fave among the nation's critics. I'm halfway there, hoping future episodes can pull off the same comic flair as the pilot.

Back to You (Comedy, 7 p.m., KSTU Channel 13, premieres Wednesday)

A lot is riding on this series, marking the return of sitcom stalwarts Kelsey Grammer ("Frasier") and Patricia Heaton ("Everybody Loves Raymond") as news anchors at a Pittsburgh television station. With half-hour comedies scarce on the broadcast TV networks and constant cries that the sitcom is dying, can they save the genre? Perhaps. The pilot is not mindblowingly funny or fresh, but these two can make even a mediocre series into something special. We'll see.

Bionic Woman (Drama, 8 p.m., KSL Channel 5, premieres Sept. 26)

In a "re-imagining" of the 1970s TV series, a woman (this time Brit Michelle Ryan in the lead) suffers an accident and is replaced with bionic limbs of extraordinary power. The pilot for this new version has a rousing fight scene between the new Jaime Sommers and her rival, another - albeit evil - bionic woman. But the acting is deadly dull, the story is unimpressive and the characters are as human as a bionic leg. And since Ms. Sommers can usually beat any human with her bionic strength, that means any decent fight with a modicum of suspense would have to be with that other bionic woman.

Private Practice (Drama, 8 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, premieres Sept. 26)

No matter what anyone says, fans of "Grey's Anatomy" are going to tune in and hang on every word in this sequel to the smash medical drama. Kate Walsh, who played Addison on "Grey's," leaves Seattle for a wellness clinic in Los Angeles, where everything is less hectic - or so she thinks. But it's the same formula as any other medical soap opera: multiple storylines with deliberately provocative ethical questions, sexy actors in the roles, and plenty of face sucking between the men and women of the clinic. This one, however, has a great supporting cast, including Tim Daly, Amy Brenneman and Taye Diggs.

Kitchen Nightmares (Reality, 8 p.m., KSTU Channel 13, premieres Wednesday, one hour)

That famous in-your-face chef of "Hell's Kitchen," Gordon Ramsay, is back to scorn the cooks in this adaptation of his British hit reality series in which he turns around real restaurants in desperate need of help. Yes, he still screams and chews out people as he makes drastic changes. But at least in this version, he yells at those who deserve it, including a slacker restaurant co-owner in the pilot who would rather eat the food than prepare or sell it. And at least you respect what Ramsay is doing because he's capable and knowledgeable. This dish is much more palatable than his "Hell's Kitchen."

Gossip Girl (Drama, 8 p.m., KUCW Channel 30, premieres Wednesday)

Based on the series of teen books by Cecily von Ziegesar, this show follows the exploits of wealthy teens living on New York City's Upper East Side. Really, it's just an excuse to revive the juicy lifestyles of the rich and sexy from "The O.C.," which happens to share the same executive producer, Josh Schwartz. But this spicy look (at least for teens) at drugs, sex and relationship hangups among the rich and snooty is hardly appropriate fare for any teens I know.

Life (Drama, 9 p.m., KSL Channel 5, premieres Sept. 26)

This police drama about a cop who serves time in prison for a crime he didn't commit and then is released to be a detective again has a premise that could lull an insomniac to sleep. But the nonsense doesn't stop there. It's also plagued with an unbelievable setup - there is no way a man who may have been wrongly convicted by his own department would be allowed to work there again. The one saving grace is its outstanding lead actor, Damian Lewis ("Band of Brothers") as the ex-con/detective.

Thursday Spotlight

Big Shots (Drama, 9 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, premieres Sept. 27)

Male chauvinists unite! In what is essentially a male version of "Sex and the City," these four underappreciated and underrepresented members of society gather at the club, the golf course and the office to whine and moan about the sudden shift in sexual dominance.

"Men," says one character. "We're the new women."

Despite their decidedly piggish views, the wealthy chief executives also can be funny and, yes, somewhat charming.

Co-star Christopher Titus says this show will treat men more honestly, unlike previous attempts to pin down the male psyche.

"It never gets down to the real part," he said about other failed shows. "It's always the fluff part of it, and I think with these guys - just the pilot has so much pain in it, which is great because these guys are rich guys, and it just shows that it doesn't matter if you have money, your life can still suck and go down the tubes."

Friday Spotlight

Moonlight (Drama, 8 p.m., KUTV Channel 2, premieres Sept. 28)

David Greenwalt is no stranger to vampires or other nasty things that go bump in the night, having produced such horror series as "The X-Files," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel."

So "Moonlight," a new drama about a vampirific private investigator, is in good hands. And with Joel Silver ("Die Hard," "Lethal Weapon," "The Matrix") as one of the show's executive producers, expect good production values.

But a preview was not available because producers decided to recast the pilot. Whether it soars or nosedives will be a mystery for now.

One thing Silver does mention, however, is that it will not be a gory show despite its blood-curdling premise.

"It's not going to be a violent show at all," he said. "It has some dark edges, but it's really fun. There will be a lot of action in the picture, but it's not grotesque. It's really a warm, sweet, funny vampire show."

The Next Great American Band (Reality, 7 p.m., KSTU Channel 13, premieres Oct. 19)

The makers of "American Idol" go the next logical step - a contest to find the next chart-topping band. So think weeks and weeks of audition episodes, followed by weeks and weeks of preliminary rounds, followed by weeks and weeks of performance episodes with finalists - just so you can get to someone who sounds as bad as Sanjaya.

Women's Murder Club (Drama, 8 p.m., KTVX Channel 4, Premieres Oct. 12)

What if the women of "Sex and the City" each had jobs in law enforcement? Maybe one was a detective, another an assistant district attorney, another the medical examiner and the fourth one newspaper reporter. Well, they would never have time to date Mr. Big. But the four women of the "Women's Murder Club" (led by "Law & Order's" Angie Harmon) battle for justice by sharing their expertise in crime fighting as well as their tubes of MAC lipstick. This silly, contrived crime drama is flooded with conflicts of interest that would get a case appealed in the flash of a gun muzzle.

Nashville (Reality, 8 p.m., KSTU Channel 13, premieres tonight)

The sounds of twangy guitars call out to young country hopefuls in this reality series that looks at the journey to Grand Ole Opry superstardom. Most will fail, but some might succeed, in what is supposed to be a candid examination of the trials of the music industry. More on "Nashville": E23.

Sunday Spotlight

Viva Laughlin (Drama, 7 p.m., KUTV Channel 2, premieres Oct. 18)

Why is something graded so low in our Spotlight? Because a) there is nothing better to profile on Sunday and b) we think this bold new musical about a man trying to start a casino in Laughlin, Nev., still has the potential to be charming. Yes, the pilot has an undercooked premise with musical numbers thrown in instead of carefully placed, but subsequent episodes can only get better. I like the idea of a musical drama on TV. The networks just need another chance to do it right.

Life Is Wild (Drama, 7 p.m., KUCW Channel 30, premieres Oct. 7)

Most people might not remember the 1960s series "Daktari," but they won't have to, because this family drama about a veterinarian who uproots his family to Africa to save the wild is practically the same thing. It's the first series in a long time to be filmed entirely in Africa, which after the rather unspectacular pilot is the only distinguishing thing about the series. It doesn't even take advantage of the scenery, which is a difficult thing to do. Maybe it can survive on its cute, fuzzy animals.

* Get caught up on some of the returning favorites from last year on E4.

* Vince Horiuchi has the latest on the new fall season in his column on page E18.

* Be sure to check out the fall-season TV grid to find out what time the new shows and your returning favorites will be on, E24.