This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2007, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.

There's such a barrage of reality shows swallowing up our television time, it's hard to keep track of who's schmoozing whom and who's been doing the backstabbing. Here's the cooler talk about last week's episodes of some of your favorite reality fare, written by The Salt Lake Tribune's resident unscripted-TV buffs. (Warning: Spoilers ahead. If you didn't watch last week, read at your own risk.)

Pirate Master

Tuedays, 9 p.m., KUTV Channel 2

The Lowdown

The seven pirates who were cut adrift returned to challenge Capt. Azmyth for $50,000 in gold. When Azmyth's crew got lost, the challengers should have won - but they dropped the key to the treasure in the river. Jupiter, the ship's cook, was booted after talking about mutiny at the dinner table.

Best Whine and Cheese Moment

The crew talks constantly of mutiny. Why won't the cowardly pack of complainers take action? As the crew weakens - physically, mentally and numerically - Azmyth's Triad can only grow stronger.

So You Think You Can Dance

Wednesdays, 7 p.m., and Thursdays, 8 p.m., KSTU Channel 13

The Lowdown

Judges and voters choose the top 10 dancers, who will go on a 50-city tour later this season. It was curtains for Russian beauty Anya and the exotic Hok, whose fearless break dancing and crazy hair weren't enough to save him.

Best Whine and Cheese Moment

Sorry, Anya, but the solo dance that was supposed to keep you on the show only made it obvious you are more suited to pole dancing: It was WAY too much booty/booby shakin'.

Top Chef

Wednesdays, 8 p.m., Bravo

The Lowdown

The show is hurting for interpersonal conflict to provide fireworks, but this episode was especially lacking. When show editors made a big deal of Lia and Casey becoming "friends for life," we knew one would get the ax. Lia bombed along with her smoked trout and polenta.

Best Whine and Cheese Moment

Obnoxious New York chef Joey displayed an unusual amount of self-awareness when he announced early in the episode, "I gotta get my head out of my ass." Then, he won the Quickfire Challenge, where chefs had to create dishes from frozen pie crusts.

Contributing: Stephen Hunt, Anne Wilson, Dan Nailen