But Friday night's debate between liberal Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson and conservative talk-show host Sean Hannity could prove wildly entertaining.
There is obvious interest. The nearly 2,000 tickets for the 8:30 p.m. clash at the University of Utah's Kingsbury Hall sold out within two hours. And despite the circuslike buildup surrounding the charity event, the topic is serious indeed: Anderson's call for an end to the Iraq war and the impeachment of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.
To help debate-goers, viewers and listeners - plans call for it to be broadcast live on Fox 13 as well as KSL Newsradio - score the showdown, we offer this guide:
Arguments
Forget who has the best tie or the better haircut. Debates, ultimately, are judged mainly on the quality, clarity and strength of the arguments. And those contentions should be based on commonly held values or evidence.
"The more that you can use [evidence and logic] and the less of your own opinion, the better debater you are," says Kip Sayre, Judge Memorial High School's debate coach.
Debates also can be lost with noticeable blunders, factual errors or gross exaggerations.
Advice for Rocky: Build your case with evincing evidence and convincing rhetoric. Be a lawyer without being lawyerly.
Advice for Hannity: Ditto. Let proof persuade. Don't try to out-shout Rocky. Count on facts, not volume, to speak loudly.
Appearance
Back to that tie and haircut. Appearance does matter (remember the perspiring Nixon?), especially on TV. Don't trot out in jeans and a T-shirt. Serious people discussing serious subjects should dress seriously. So suit up and appear confident, calm and in control.
"Overall appearance is very much a part of your persuasiveness," Sayre says. "Our [debate team] kids must look the part."
Advice for Hannity: Smile less. Check your American-flag vest at the door, says Kirk Jowers, director of the Hinckley Institute of Politics. Wear a jacket and tie. The relaxed, button-down-shirt look will appear too casual.
Advice for Rocky: Smile more. Wear as much red, white and blue as possible, Jowers admonishes. Dress to impress.
Presentation
Arguments should be delivered with authority, without being rude or combative.
"Courtesy is an absolute must," Sayre says.
"It's not just about how many points they score, but also how well they speak and how well they engage people" in the audience, says Gary Hatch, Brigham Young University's debate club adviser.
"They both suffer from the God complex," Jowers says. "They both have to avoid being too condescending and have some appreciation that people are not idiots or cowards for not going to their two extremes."
Advice for Rocky: No long speeches. This isn't a 100-minute State of the City address. No protest chants. This isn't a rally. Think short, punchy and pointed. "Relax," Jowers says, and keep your cool.
Advice for Hannity: Don't cut people off. This isn't your radio gig. Be respectful. "Get a little more intense" and offer more than a soundbite, Jowers says. And, as with your foe, stay cool.
Expectations
In presidential debates - and other forums where debaters are well-known - participants must exceed audience expectations. That makes it easier for the perceived underdog to win.
"I'm not sure Hannity knows what he's got himself into," Jowers says.
The Fox News commentator would be favored in other forums - "his TV show," for instance - but not here, Jowers explains.
Anderson, he notes, has worked "relentlessly and passionately" to build his case. He has drafted footnoted briefs arguing for Bush's ouster.
Advice for Hannity: Since the mayor has the upper hand, just score points, land some counterpunches, be nice and you prevail.
Advice for Rocky: You're the favorite. A tie won't do. You have to out-and-out win.
Memorable lines
"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy." Just ask Dan Quayle about memorable lines. This one, courtesy of Lloyd Bentsen, floored him during the 1988 vice presidential debate.
Statements that are witty or artfully constructed leave lasting impressions with listeners.
"There are ways to sort of score points on people without being disrespectful," Hatch says, "using humor or wit to subtilely disparage someone without openly attacking them."
Advice for Rocky: Make your rhetoric more colloquial, more accessible, Jowers says. Not everyone will be hanging on your every word.
Advice for Hannity: This is where you can shine, with staff-prepared zingers, Jowers says. But don't just deliver one-liners.

