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When her partner, Sara Hamblin, was suffering from breast cancer some 10 years ago, Kathy Worthington fought her employer to take a leave to care for Hamblin and won. Then she battled the hospital that refused to name her as Hamblin's "spouse" and won.
Now, the couple's ashes will be joined together.
Worthington, a well-known Utah gay community activist, died in her Taylorsville home on Feb. 22 - the day after the one-year anniversary of Hamblin's death. She was 56.
Family and friends were hesitant to say how she died at first, but Thursday Worthington's daughter, Lucy Juarez, said her mother committed suicide. After losing her partner of 14 years, Worthington had fallen into a deep depression, stopped participating in the community and let her friends "fall by the wayside," Juarez said.
Worthington still worked full time at the U.S. Postal Service, but she was lonely and struggled to wake up most mornings without "Sara," Juarez said. Worthington had contemplated suicide throughout the year, and family and friends tried to get her help and support her.
"I'd rather just be upfront about it because that was the way my mother was," she said. "We are in no way ashamed about her depression or the way she died. We wish we would have been able to save her."
Worthington, a divorced mother of two daughters, came out publicly as a lesbian in 1989, according to an obituary in Wednesday's and today's Tribune. She later became known as an advocate for gay and straight women's rights, breast cancer awareness and for people who had left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
She started a lesbian community newsletter and also organized social and women's support groups. Worthington later founded a Web site (http://www.mormonnomore.com">http://www.mormonnomore.com) that provides information about how to resign from the LDS church.
"She really had no fear about being a pioneer," said Marie Duffin, who became friends with Worthington in the past year. "She defended people who didn't have people to defend them."
Worthington and Hamblin met in 1992.
They had a "marriage" ceremony a year later. In 1997, two years after Hamblin was diagnosed with cancer, Worthington fought the U.S. Postal Service to be allowed to take open-ended leave to care for Hamblin under the 1993 Family and Medical Leave Act.
Worthington's request was denied twice, but she tried one more time and won approval.
The couple were legally married in Canada in 2003.
"She wouldn't back down," said Jennifer Nuttall, a gay center program director who worked with Worthington on several projects. "She just wasn't afraid to stand up for what she knew was right."
Hamblin died at age 51 on Feb. 21, 2006, of advanced breast cancer, according to Worthington's Web site. Worthington was highly respected in the gay community, especially when it came to educating women about how to advocate for health care and to be validated as lesbian couples, Nuttall said.
"She was a very outspoken advocate who moved our [Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender] community forward through her activism," she said.
People close to Worthington described her as amazing, vibrant, compassionate, good and gentle. Duffin said she'll miss hanging out with Worthington, eating take-out food and watching movies at her Taylorsville home.
"I fell in love with her as soon as I met her," said Duffin, of Salt Lake City. "She was a good soul."
Mandy Racer knew Worthington as a motherlike figure for some 11 years. Worthington told Racer to call her "madrina," or godmother in Spanish "She changed my life," Racer said. "She taught me strength - to be strong."
Racer said she's going to miss her visits drinking coffee with "Kathy" while she did her laundry at her madrina's home.
"I'm going to miss her energy," Racer said. "She was full of life."
A memorial service for Worthington will be held from 6 to 8 p.m. Sunday at I.J. and Jeanné Wagner Jewish Community Center, 2 N. Medical Drive, Salt Lake City.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Utah Pride Center (http://www.utahpridecenter.org">http://www.utahpridecenter.org) or Best Friends Animal Sanctuary (http://www.bestfriends.org">http://www.bestfriends.org).