This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2006, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
Despite concerns I expressed last week, parts of LDS General Conference turned out to be interesting. I particularly liked the talk given by Robert S. Wood of the Second Quorum of Seventy, who told everyone to shut up.
I'm paraphrasing, of course. What Elder Wood actually said was: "Have those who have taken upon us the name of Christ slipped unknowingly into patterns of slander, of evil speaking, and bitter stereotyping? Have personal or partisan or business or religious differences been translated into a kind of demonizing of those of different views?"
It seemed a timely message given that while he was saying it I was getting e-mail from fellow Mormons irate over the column on conference speculation.
Thanks to an unofficial gospel program known as "fellowshipping through insult," it was presumed to set me straight via sarcasm and name-calling. A dear sister in Florida used an anatomical reference not found in any scriptures I ever read.
Perhaps I should be bothered more than amused. But humor is all about irony, and you can't beat religion for that.
Nowhere else in the human condition is the disparity between what we say and what we do so great. If you want to find out how all that Sunday school is working for people, poke them a little.
Yes, people behave badly in other venues. We've even come to expect name-calling in certain situations - drug deals, bar fights, Congress - situations not founded on the premise of "love one another."
It just seems that people who profess to follow Jesus Christ, and publicly holler that everyone else should, too, really ought to be the ones who know better.
Maybe there's a loophole that allows this behavior. Elder Wood also said, "We need, as the Lord counseled, to uphold honest, wise and good men and women wherever they are found."
Since I am not wise, good, honest or a woman, for that matter, it occurs to me that maybe all bets are off when it comes to newspaper columnists.
If so, maybe church people do this because they already believe you're damned and, really, what harm could one last kick do before the devil comes and gets you?
But even assuming that I am not covered by the usual Christian ethic, I'm still fuzzy as to how fellowshipping through insult fixes my problem. Has it ever worked on anyone?
If it has, why isn't the LDS Church using it as a missionary tool? "Brother Brown seems a little hardheaded about tithing, Elder. Next time let's call him a bastard and see if the Spirit whispers to him."
Conference. It's not always hugely exciting, but I learn something every time.
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Contact Robert Kirby at 90 S. 400 West, Suite 700, Salt Lake City, UT 84101, or rkirby@
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