Just when you thought that Utah liquor laws couldn't get any more bizarre, along comes Sen. John Valentine carrying the Scotchless water for Senate President Michael Waddoups.

Valentine, R-Orem, is sponsoring Utah Senate Bill 187, which would turn the so-called Zion curtains in Utah restaurants into the equivalent of iron curtains, reviving a proposal first made by Waddoups in January after a trip to a Chili's restaurant in Salt Lake City.

Waddoups, R-Taylorsville, observed a bartender mixing drinks in full view of customers through the restaurant industry's version of the state-mandated Zion curtain, a Plexiglass barrier that prevents alcoholic beverages from being served across a restaurant bar or counter. The arrangement, Waddoups told state liquor control officials, amounts to a "bar setting." And that, the senator said, is a violation of Utah law.

So Waddoups proposed, not a curtain, but an actual wall. And Valentine has put the idea in bill form. The measure was approved 7-0 by a committee Friday and sent to the Senate floor.

Valentine's bill requires a floor-to-ceiling partition, or a wall at least 10 feet tall, high enough to assure that even the offspring of Yao Ming will not be subjected to the corrupting influence of a bartender mixing a drink. Or drinks could be prepared in a back room or on another floor, as long as the process is out of sight, and out of mind.

For the record, there's no scientific evidence that the sight of cherries and olives and mixers and spirits being shaken and blended and stirred can cause a person, even an impressionable teenager, to turn into a rummy. (Of course, it's not the kind of thing that's been extensively studied; the hypothesis is simply too absurd.)

The bill would also counteract a recent Utah Supreme Court ruling which determined that merely being drunk is not a crime in Utah. If SB187 is approved, simply appearing to be drunk would be against the law.

That last provision could backfire on Valentine, because forcing restaurateurs to spend up to $100,000 to reconfigure restaurants without reason doesn't seem like a sober proposal.

Lawmakers need to pour this bill down the drain, and approve instead House Bill 347, which would normalize Utah liquor laws and boost tourism by doing away with private clubs and membership fees, and bringing down the Zion curtains.

Take it from Gordon Strachan, a Utah liquor control commissioner. Valentine's bill "makes Utah look even stranger."