My husband has been very successful and we are well-off financially. My ex has always paid the required child support, but no more, and stopped paying the day she turned 18. He does give her a small allowance while she is in college. He isn't as well-off.

I don't have significant issues with his attending the wedding. However, I think he should either help financially with it or let my husband walk her down the aisle and do the first dance. I just don't think I could take him acting like her father while my husband pays all the bills. (My daughter and her fiancé aren't making any significant contribution.)

This wedding will be just as my daughter wishes. I couldn't talk her into something small and we will probably spend about $20,000. I'm not expecting my ex to pay half, just more than a token - $3,000 or so. What do you think?

- P.

Dear P. » I think a wedding is a supremely awful venue for settling ancient scores.

He cheated on you, check. He made a loud-and-clear statement by giving you not a nickel more than the mandated child support. Check. You set these legitimate grievances aside so your daughter could love her father, check. You've made a great case for owning the high ground.

Which is why it comes across as particularly petty and vindictive for you to seek your due by charging the man 3,000 bucks for the right to walk his child down the aisle.

If you know you've done right by your ex, by your daughter and by yourself, then who gives a marzipan dove whether your lawnful of wedding guests knows it?

Your daughter's escorts are your daughter's decision regardless.

Carolyn Hax's column runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.