Is there a dish your family serves at Thanksgiving that you love in spite of yourself?
You know what I mean — a dish from another era before Americans turned into food snobs and started judging each other for their food choices.
My former neighbor, Tom, and I had this discussion one year as the holiday approached. Tom, a caterer, told me about a client who wanted him to cook a super fancy Thanksgiving dinner for her and her family. As they worked out a menu together, the client grew sheepish.
“Um. There’s this green bean dish my family always has,” she explained, “and it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without it.”
“Does it have cream of mushroom soup and French fried onions on the top?” he asked
The client nodded.
Tom laughed and told her not to worry. He could whip it up, no problem. He’d grown up eating the very same casserole at his grandmother’s house, too.
Speaking of grandmothers, my friend Camille fondly remembers a holiday hors d’oeuvre (wow! I just noticed how many vowels that word has!) her own grandmother used to make — Bugles stuffed with Cheez Whiz because you know how it is. Nothing makes you remember that first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims and the Indians like a big old can of Cheez Whiz. Still. Camille says those labor-intensive stuffed Bugles were always a tasty treat.
In our family, we have The Salad.
MEMO TO MY BROTHER JOHN: OK, John, it’s time to set the record straight. It has come to my attention that our mother (mildly) resents the fact that you think The Salad is MY recipe and not hers. I realize that I’m the one who always makes it now — and, frankly, I’ve been happy to take all the credit because who doesn’t want to be the Belle of the Thanksgiving Ball? But our mother is the one who actually handed the recipe to me. Recipe attribution is important. Nations have gone to war because grown daughters have spent years lying about whose recipe is whose.
So there’s my confession. Thank you. I feel better now.
Anyway, our family only has The Salad three times a year — Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. We could have it more often, I suppose. The ingredients aren’t seasonal. It’s just that eating The Salad at a regular meal would be like eating pumpkin pie for the Fourth of July. It would be wrong somehow — against the natural order of things.
OK. In case you’re all looking for a healthy salad recipe made out of a bunch of healthy stuff like healthy kale and healthy quinoa with a bunch of healthy seeds sprinkled on top of it to serve at your own Thanksgiving meal, THIS ISN’T IT! The ingredients for The Salad include cream cheese, whipped cream, blueberries, pineapple, and yes...
Raspberry Jell-O.
Fine. Have at it. Feel free to insert your favorite jokes about Utah and Mormons and Jell-O right here. Feel free to marvel that I apparently don’t know the difference between a “salad” and a “dessert.” I’ve heard it all before. Many times. So many times.
Nothing, however, will stop me from making The Salad.
And when I’m finished I’ll crown my quivering, shimmering creation with sliced bananas and more whipped cream. YES! And everyone, including my brother John and our mother, will give thanks.
Speaking of which — Happy Thanksgiving, Tribune readers. I’m thankful for you.
