In past years, the Super Bowl gave us early looks at the Hulk hammer-throwing tanks across the Utah desert, Neo delving into the Matrix, and aliens obliterating the White House on Independence Day.
So where were the teasers for this summer's blockbusters?
Of the 10 movies advertised during Super Bowl XXXIX, only three - Christopher Nolan's "Batman Begins," Steven Spielberg's "War of the Worlds" and the Adam Sandler remake of "The Longest Yard" - are slated to open this summer. The other seven open this spring, if not sooner. (One, "Hitch," opened this weekend.) Missing from the roster were some of this summer's more anticipated movies: Ridley Scott's Crusades epic "Kingdom of Heaven," the Marvel Comics title "Fantastic Four," the long-awaited science-fiction comedy "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" or "Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith."
Here, in order of release date, is an armchair appraisal of the Super Bowl movie ads, on a 1-to-10 scale of anticipation:
l "Hitch" (opened Friday) - This ad focuses on a single scene in the Will Smith romantic comedy: His Jigginess teaching schlubby Kevin James how to dance (or how not to dance). Suggests James may be stealing the movie out from under Smith - which, in fact, he does. Anticipation factor: 3.
l "Constantine" (opens this Friday) - Keanu Reeves looking oh-so-cool, fighting demons in his "Reservoir Dogs" suit. Rachel Weisz being sucked out of a building; didn't "The Matrix" movies teach us that being in a high-rise with Keanu is a bad idea? Anticipation factor: 7.
l "Be Cool" (opens March 4) - John Travolta and Uma Thurman on a dance floor; well, it worked the first time Travolta needed a comeback, so maybe it will work again. Bonus points for brief glimpse of OutKast's Andre 3000. Anticipation factor: 6.
l "The Pacifier" (opens March 4) - Vin Diesel as a Navy SEAL assigned to guard a gaggle of kids. Looks like "Kindergarten Cop," except that Diesel doesn't show the humor or humanity of Schwarzenegger. And what's with the AFLAC duck doing movies? Anticipation factor: 1.
l "Robots" (opens March 11) - Chris Wedge's follow-up to "Ice Age" looks funny, and the computer-animation almost has the tactile warmth of stop-motion animation. But another wacky Robin Williams voice role? Anticipation factor: 7.
l "Sahara" (opens April 8) - "National Treasure" meets "The Mummy"? I loved this movie, when it was called "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Anticipation factor: 4.
l "XXX: State of the Union" (opens April 29) - Ice Cube busts out of prison to save the world, blowing up good-sized chunks of said world in the process. You don't even miss Vin Diesel (especially after seeing this in conjunction with the ad for "The Pacifier"). Anticipation factor: 3.
l "The Longest Yard" (opens Memorial Day weekend) - Doesn't Adam Sandler look a little small to be a football player? No matter, since the ad plays up Sandler's natural wisenheimer gifts. Anticipation factor: 6.
l "Batman Begins" (opens June 17) - Christian Bale preparing the Batsuit. Bale looking hot in the Batsuit. Michael Caine, as butler Alfred, declaring "It's been a long time, sir." Brief glimpses of Katie Holmes and the Scarecrow. Morgan Freeman showing Bale a tough assault vehicle, and Bale asking, "Does it come in black?" I am sooooo there. Anticipation factor: 9.
l "War of the Worlds" (opens June 29) - The biggest special effect in this ad wasn't the giant freeway overpass crumbling as the aliens approached. It was seeing Dakota Fanning's terrified face, showing more real emotion than I've ever seen out of her. An ad so effective that within a day, Fox had pushed the release date for "Fantastic Four" back a week so it wouldn't be going head-to-head with Spielberg's frightfest. Anticipation factor: 10.
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Got a question about the movies? Send it to movie critic Sean P. Means: The Salt Lake Tribune, 143 S. Main St., second floor, Salt Lake City, UT 84111, or e-mail at movies@sltrib.com.
