Deep down, Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson is so conventional he believes a woman with small children should not be running for mayor: e.g. Jenny Wilson.

Some might call that sexist.

The mayor insists it's not. He's just concerned about kids. He told Wilson his worries when she called eight months ago to tell him she was thinking of running for mayor. He shared them again with her father, former mayor Ted Wilson, a few weeks ago.

He would hold himself - and, he says, any man campaigning for his job - to the same standard.

In an e-mail to the former mayor in January 2006, Rocky said he never considered running for mayor when his only son was a child.

"I would never have sought this job while Luke was young. It is just too grueling," Rocky wrote. "I would never trade the time I spent with Luke for anything. As mayor, I wouldn't have been able to be the kind of father I was."

He's chagrined that what he considered private advice has become public.

For the record, 41-year-old Wilson has two young sons, ages 2 and 5. She also has a full-time nanny. And she's been known to take her children to Salt Lake County Council meetings. Like most working mothers, she's juggling. If she's elected, her husband would have to "step up at times."

"I will be a working mother, whether it's in City Hall or elsewhere. It's what I do. I don't have to work. It's my choice," says Wilson, a Harvard grad. "This isn't something we did lightly. But I had such an incredible childhood as the daughter of the mayor. We think it's a great advantage" to potentially have mom in the mayor's office.

Others have done it before her. Salt Lake County Commissioner Mary Callaghan was a single mother of two elementary-aged kids. Attorney General Jan Graham campaigned while pregnant.

And for good measure, consider that Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon's three children all are under age 6. Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. just adopted a 1-year-old from India. Ted Wilson had five young kids when he was elected.

Rocky hesitates to question Corroon's choice to run - "Peter's a great dad," he says. He prefers to talk about his own parenting - a subject he knows better. After surviving mayor dad, Luke is now a 23-year-old graduate of New York University and moving to Washington for law school.

While the mayor insists his advice is not gender-specific, in this still very "Father Knows Best" state the practical result is the same: more guilt for working mothers, including Wilson. And specifically, extra hot pokers for professional women who dare to aspire.

Women make up 45 percent of the state's work force. Almost 60 percent of mothers with preschool-aged children work outside the home - slightly less than the national average. And Utah mothers with kids ages 6 to 17 work at the same rate as women around the nation. They do it despite earning 73 cents for every dollar a Utah man earns.

There are plenty of Utah mothers who stay home, sacrificing their own careers at the peak of their earning power - age 25 to 45 - to take care of their children. That idyll is not economically possible for some mothers, not intellectually satisfying for others.

Rocky isn't saying Utah women shouldn't work. But he is parroting conventional wisdom that people should spend more time with their kids. In theory, that's ideal. In practice, it discourages parents, and women in particular, from seeking high-powered, time-consuming jobs - including the mayor's office.

"It's not limited to people in politics. But there is an obligation to the city to give it your all," Rocky says.

Then, with a swipe, "I would hate to see that Salt Lake City loses so much of its leadership position because somebody starts scaling back working so many hours on behalf of the city.

"I would say this to fathers just as much as mothers. But it's a matter of priorities for people. I can't judge for everybody," he adds.

Only one candidate is being judged by his measure. Jenny Wilson says following Rocky's argument to its natural conclusion, working mothers should not aspire for positions of leadership.

"Are we really willing to go that far and say the really important jobs with a lot of authority and power are not for women?" she asks. "That's a terrible signal to send."

She is taking a risk confronting Rocky's biases and those of Salt Lake City voters.

Intentional or not, this debate has stripped the taboo from questions that few modern-day voters - even conservative Salt Lakers - would publicly acknowledge being swayed by.

We know where the mayor stands, sort of.

By the primary and general elections, we'll know just how progressive his city is.

walsh@sltrib.com