OK, the film isn't specifically about Catholics. Also, I'm a Mormon and therefore no real judge of nuns. I've never been punched by one. I've had a few write letters to the editor about me.

I know most nuns aren't like "The Penguin," but I still enjoy the scene. I'm betting plenty of Catholics do, too. They're probably used to it. The entire faith has been a Hollywood mainstay since the invention of celluloid.

Whether it's priests fighting demons, flying nuns, two-fisted archangels, Mass-going wise guys or vampires melting under holy water, most Americans have come to accept these as legitimate if completely inaccurate film portrayals.

That's what happens when you're a world religion. People might not agree with your theology, but at least they find you interesting.

Mormons would like to be seen as a world religion, but are we ready to see our own stereotypes in mainstream film? Forget the spoofs. Are we even ready for the serious close-up?

Could there ever be an LDS version of "The Exorcist?"

Considering our reaction over Kirby Heyborne's appearance in a Miller Lite commercial, I'm guessing not. The rest of the world didn't even know there was a Mormon in the commercial and we still got snotty about it.

I think it would be interesting if Marlon Brando had played Brigham Young. He's the closest thing we've ever had to a Godfather. On the other hand, it would also be cool if Jack Black took a shot at the character.

There's plenty of film fodder in the Mormon missionary experience. Put two spoiled Provo-raised knuckleheads together in a stone-age part of the world and you've got a possible TV series. Hollywood's certainly produced worse pilots.

I'd watch a movie about a Relief Society President who was also a former Playboy bunny, a vampire, or even contract hitter for the CIA.

President Hinckley once said that Mormons aren't a weird people. This really just means that we aren't any weirder than anyone else. There's a lot about us that the world would pay to laugh with, feel for, or even cry about if it was done right.

Unfortunately, when it comes to Hollywood, most Mormons insist on being portrayed the way we see ourselves rather than the way others see us, or, more to the point, the way we really are.

We may want the world to see us as regular people, their brothers and sisters even, but it's tough to be considered normal when our addiction to airbrushing is so apparent.

rkirby@sltrib.com